What do you want?
by Pathatlon
Summary: A relationship between Hermione and Snape begins horribly. Now both are trying to figure out how to sort themselves and the relationship out. complete
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Jk owns everything. N00b!**

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It was strange. For years Professor Severus Snape had always thrown the words at you with a sneer when you confronted him. _What do you want?_ He always snarled, and his trademark scowl was placed firmly on his pale face.

It wasn't until her seventh year that she really contemplated the double meaning behind his words. The words were spat at her when she knocked softly on his door one day, to ask about an essay.

"What do you want?" He snarled, barely looking up from his work.

"I just wanted to ask a question about the essay you set earlier, Sir," she replied. It was only after she had left that she came to think about his question. She knew his question was directed at the present, but she couldn't help contemplating the future as well. What DID she want?

Something in her pulled her back, and when the next essay was set she found herself entering the dungeons again.

"What do you want?" He snarled again, just like last time, though with a bit more impatience now.

"I just wanted to ask a question," no, not really, actually. She didn't have any questions; she just wanted to hear that question from him. It sounded so deep when it came from him, as if he directed it to her future, not just the present. She felt entranced by his words. They were so harsh, but behind them lay… everything.

In Career Guidance McGonagall asked her what she wanted, but Hermione just smirked wistfully. It was nothing like the way Snape said it. Nonetheless Hermione replied with what she would usually have done, though this time her reply, educational as it was, was not the priority of her future, not that she revealed that bit.

Graduation was soon upon her. Everyone was laughing and celebrating, enjoying that they were moving on. Just before she left with her parents she slipped into the dungeons, just like she had done on many other occasions, though this time she was dressed like a woman, not like a schoolgirl.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape drawled tiredly, obviously hoping he could be left alone. He leaned back in his chair, stretching somewhat.

"Aren't you going to ask me what I want?" She searched his eyes, but she was unable to read them. He furrowed his brows, trying to read her, but she merely stood tall and composed, revealing no secrets. They regarded each other for a few short minutes before the words slowly rolled off his tongue.

"What do you want, Miss Granger?" He finally asked, and she stepped towards him tentatively. She leaned over the desk until her face was just in front of him, stern. Then slowly her expression loosened and a soft blush graced her cheeks as she whispered:

"You," her lips brushed against his softly, and then she gave a small contented sigh before she disappeared, leaving a shocked Snape in her wake.

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	2. and the realisation dawned

**A/N: Thank you all for reviewing. I decided to follow my reviewers wish and write another chapter. I don't know where this story is going, but I have a few ideas. Meanwhile, please take the time to read and review. I promise you that the ideas I have for the futereare good :P**

**Disclaimer: see first chapter.****

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****Chapter two – and the realisation dawned**

If you ask anyone about Hermione Granger they'd say she is somewhat competitive, hard working, loyal, friendly, loveable. Loveable. Loveable. Loveable. The pet. Never doing anything unexpected. You can always expect Hermione to go to the library when a problem arises. Never one to back away from a challenge.

However, even those most expected people have unexpected moments. Moments where they switch off their brains and do something surprising.

Unfortunately the problem with brainy people is that when they finally switch off their brains they switch everything off and don't contemplate the consequences… due to their switched off brains. Whereas those normal people are able to look at the consequences, because they're used to doing crazy and unexpected things, teaching them to look at the consequences.

This might confuse you, because it certainly is confusing. The point merely is that Hermione had realised that she wanted Severus Snape, and her thoughts of problems only reached to the point where Snape was her Professor, which meant he was a no-go place. However, that was quickly solved at the Graduation Ball.

When Hermione awoke the next day she smiled into her pillow and let out a light giggle, wondering how great it was to be able to surprise someone like Snape. Unfortunately now her brains were switched on again, which made her able to think. And think she did.

As she sat eating her breakfast she suddenly spit it all out again in gigantic shock. Her parents looked at her surprised.

"Hermione?" Annie, Hermione's mother, asked concerned, and made to move over to her daughter, but was stopped by Hermione raising a hand.

"I'm all right, mother, I just… got it down wrong," she faked a few light coughs and then made to clean her breakfast away. How could she have been so dumb? She mused frantically, and then hurried to her room. She sat on her bed and let her head slip into her hands.

The problem of Snape being her Professor had been solved at the Graduation Ball the night before, but the consequences had just been discovered. He was a Death Eater, Voldemort was alive and if anyone found out of this they could be in terrible danger. She was risking his life due to that kiss.

"What am I going to do?" She asked herself quietly and closed her eyes, almost begging for a great miracle. None came. She would be seeing Snape often, because she'd soon be leaving for the Headquarter, plus she was to be inducted in the Order of the Phoenix. Not only would she see him a lot, but also she wasn't a great actress and if anyone found out she had kissed him they might wonder. If Voldemort realised it he could perhaps use it somehow.

She had no idea of the true consequences. There were many, unlikely as likely, all depending on the events of the future. The only thing Hermione was sure of was that she shouldn't have kissed him… yet. She should've waited until everything was safe.

A rational voice in her head tried to tell her that nothing might happen, just because she kissed him, but she told the voice to shove it. She shouldn't have done it until it was safe.

Whenever she was confused she made a plan, something to stick to. However, soon she realised that she wouldn't be able to write Severus Snape off, because she was very much in love with him, so the only possible way was to act as if nothing had happened. That way no one would know, unless he told someone, and that way nothing would go wrong. She wondered how he'd act…

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**I know they're short the chapters, but I've decided to limit it to one page. That way I have something akin to a nice challenge also, plus it gives me the ability to control everything better. Please review and dance with me afterwards.**


	3. Severus's musings

**A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, they're great!**

**Disclaimer: See first chapter.**

**Special thanks: Helen, who betaed this chapter, also called: aeronwen here at ff**

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****Chapter three – Severus's musings**

Severus had decided to skip breakfast. He wasn't in the mood to see Dumbledore or any one else at the moment. Something in his mind told him that right now he should be throwing up because of the alcohol he had drunk the night before, but then he remembered that he'd had barely any. That had been his plan, after all- to drink and celebrate that the horrible, obnoxious terrible trio would be out of Hogwarts- but instead he found his plans being wiped away by _her_ visit.

Severus had decided to skip breakfast. He wasn't in the mood to see Dumbledore or any one else at the moment. Something in his mind told him that right now he should be throwing up because of the alcohol he had drunk the night before, but then he remembered that he'd had barely any. That had been his plan, after all- to drink and celebrate that the horrible, obnoxious terrible trio would be out of Hogwarts- but instead he found his plans being wiped away by visit. 

Usually students visited him in the dungeons before they left for good. It was generally, however, under the influence of alcohol- lots of alcohol- and they only came to finally state their true opinion about him. _As if he didn't already know what they thought of him!_

However, yesterday had been different. He had practised his scowl firmly to chase away anyone who dared thinking about nearing, in friendly or unfriendly terms. He had managed to get away from the graduation party fairly quick- and that in it self was a celebration.

Unfortunately _Granger_ had to come. He expected that she'd come. To tell him how _wonderful_ his classes had been, like she had told all the other teachers. He did _not_, on the other hand, expect her to show her gratitude the way she did, and he was still utterly shocked.

The chit had made him unable to do anything for the rest of the evening due to the shock!

He didn't know why she had done it. When she had arrived, he had steeled himself to survive what horrible sentimental horror she might throw at him. But when she kissed him… Why?

Severus went over the last year and tried to find out why she had done it. The only thing he found was the lead she had given him before kissing him…

"_Aren't you going to ask me what I want?" _

So many times had he pondered over those words. And it made him realise that she had come quite often throughout the year, and asked about something. She had never asked after class, but she had suddenly gotten this stupid idea to come and consult him about every essay he set.

He should've realised something was amiss!

But then again- Hermione was a know-it-all with a knack for asking questions all the time- so it wasn't out of character for her to seek him out all the time.

Severus almost smiled when he thought about things. The chit had found herself attracted to his words.

_What do you want?_

That must've been where it started, mused Severus. Why else would she ask him to ask her what she wanted, the night before?

Severus contemplated this for a few minutes, and then smirked. Well, who knew the chit was _that_ stupid? No _sane_ person would ever fall in love with him! He thought bitterly. He poured himself a healthy glass of fire-whiskey, deciding to avenge the lack of alcohol he'd consumed the night before.

Perhaps she wasn't in love with him, Severus thought. It was simply NOT possible. She knew of his past, she knew of his present, so falling in love, or having a crush on him, would be out of the question. He had experienced a student crushing on him before, but it was rare any acted upon it. Or if _that_ it happened, they did not know of what he had done and did. Then why did she do it? She knew everything, and yet she still whispered "You" before she let their lips meet.

_It was probably not meant like that_, Severus told himself. But he wasn't stupid. She had put things clearly, so there was no way denying that she had meant!

But then why would she want him? She knew of his work in the Order, she surely knew he was a Death Eater, didn't she? She was there when he showed his mark to the Minister the night the Dark Lord came back. But then again, she had been occupied in trying to capture Rita Skeeter. Perhaps she never realised.

This was impossible, Severus thought to himself. Hermione… Granger- is a bright girl, there was no chance in hell she could've missed that fact that he's a Death Eater.

Severus decided that she probably did it out of gratitude and that was that.

Nothing more. Nothing more.

He barely felt the light drop of his heart when he forced himself to decline the idea of someone liking him, someone who actually knew the truth about him.

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**Hope you like it! At the moment I'm listening to the star wars soundtrack, so I'm totally in the mood for lightsabers, so watch out! Although, if you review I promise I won't hurt you... much, bwhahahahah! Hail Vader!... (in my dreams)**


	4. socialised mangling

**Just wanted to tell you all, because I rock, that I went to the Star Wars premiere last night, and I've never experienced anything cooler! It was... indescribable, and I am honoured that I was there to see the end of one of the greatest movies ever made**

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing. I have some great plans for this story, and I beg you to forgive me for the short chapters, but I feel it's more intense if they're short.**

**Disclaimer: See first chappie...**

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**Chapter four – socialised mangling**

Dumbledore had called for an Order meeting. Whilst every body else prepared for it, Hermione and Severus were in their respective rooms, in front of their mirrors, talking forcefully to themselves.

Since Hermione had realised that it might've been a somewhat bad idea to kiss the Potions Master, more evil thoughts had planted themselves in her young mind. Most of them were visions of Snape's cruelty towards her if she stepped in his way, and all resulted in her breaking into tears.

She knew Snape was cruel- she had seen and experienced it- but she had never been the victim of his utmost contempt and rarely had she been on the receiving end of his lashing tongue. True enough he had been cruel towards her, but that was nothing in comparison to how he had treated Harry.

She should actually be quite happy that she had escaped so _easily_. The problem now was the horrid mental images of Snape really lashing out at her, calling her a _silly, little girl_. She was sure she'd be able to withstand many of his insults, but if he moved as near as mocking her age and mind she was sure she'd never last.

As for Severus, he was standing in front his mirror, scrutinising himself as if trying to see (once again) what might have captured Granger's interest. But the mirror showed him only his looks- looks which he did not put much faith in when he came to charming beautiful young women.

Eventually he made a frustrated noise and tried to tell himself (once again) that Granger did it for reasons other than what it might look like. She wasn't interested in him, nor would she ever be. He decided just to ignore the chit, unless another course of action was demanded. In such cases he'd do what he usually did: be a bastard.

So after both had planned how they'd act towards each other, they went to the meeting. Hermione- who was staying at the Headquarters- did not have far to go, luckily. Nor did Severus, really, considering he had a portkey.

"Here are our new Order members: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley." Dumbledore gesticulated towards the three young people who sat closely together, regarding everyone with curious eyes.

Everyone smiled to them in greeting, except one who was staying painfully in character. Hermione tried her best to ignore him, but the fact that he couldn't seem to care less about what had happened unnerved and annoyed her.

"Now, if you three would chant with me, swearing to keep the Order's secrets safe," Dumbledore requested and Hermione forced herself away from thoughts about the Potions Master. Had she really meant nothing to him? Not even a cold stare? He could at least have done… _something_!

Meanwhile, Severus was clenching his jaw rather painfully, trying not to reveal any expression at all. Seeing her tonight had made him angry and he was thirsty for answers. But when he saw that she barely acknowledged him, he decided to hold back and see what she was playing at.

Until now the chit had not spared him a single glance and it unnerved Severus quite a lot. It made him wonder if it was her at all who had kissed him. Perhaps it had been a prank? It wouldn't be the first time someone humiliated him- or at least tried to. He clenched his jaw tightly at some particularly painful memories, while trying to focus on the meeting.

The meeting proceeded quite calmly and normally. No one noticed the tension in Hermione, even though she felt as if a sign was hanging above her head saying: "_look at me, look at me, I've been up to no good!"_

Severus was tense too, but no one ever really noticed the difference. He was always overwrought and never let his guards down to relax, so he wasn't worried about anyone wondering why he was anxious and tense.

Finally the meeting ended, and both felt that it had taken far too long to conclude. Severus needed to get back to his private quarters where he would indulge in potion making and forget about the Order meeting (and a certain annoying Gryffindor)

Hermione just wanted to get away. She was feeling quite uncomfortable and wasn't able to focus with Snape in the room. Even though he was seated a few seats away, she felt as if she could easily decipher his scent in the room. He smelt of the herbs and spices he used in his potions- he always had done- and the scent played naughtily with her and caused his lack of response to anger her further.

When Dumbledore called the meeting to an end, Hermione hurried off. She had barely reached the staircase leading to the upper floor, however, when she realised that she had forgotten the notes she had taken at the meeting. She sighed impatiently and turned around to make her way back.

Severus had seen how Granger had rushed out of the kitchen, and he wondered at the sudden rush. He excused himself from the small group he was talking with and made to leave. However, immediately after closing the kitchen door behind him he collided with something bushy. For a few moments their hands roamed each others bodies as they avoided falling from the collision.

"Miss Granger," Severus said in mild surprise upon realising that the bushy monster was in fact his stu-- ex-student.

"Pro-professor," Hermione managed to stutter out. She looked flustered and was blushing a deep crimson red upon realising who she had stumbled into, "I- I-" she continued , but seemed at loss for words on what to say next.

It was only then the pair became aware of the closeness of their proximity, and a rush went through both of them as they locked eyes.

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**I'm Voldemort's dance partnerin theSalsa school, so leave a review or I'll make him hex you and then dance on your broken body! MWwhAHAHHA!**


	5. proximate intimacy

**Hullo, sorry for not having updated for so long! I'd like to thank **Kat/ArtemisAurora **for betaing my chapter, thank you sooooo much!**

**Hope you'll enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: see 1st chapter.**

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**Chapter five - proximate intimacy **

_Oh yes! Now I remember why I kissed him!_ Hermione mused as she looked up into Snape's eyes. They were deep, dark and unreadable. Hermione wasn't sure if their closeness was good or bad. The fact that he hadn't pulled away from her should be a good sign, but it also unnerved her. She dared not think what he must think of her, but she barely could restrain herself. The questions were flowing quite obvious in her eyes.

Severus knew she had a million questions, because you could almost see the wheels turning in her head, just to adjust their closeness. He wasn't sure if he should pull away. On one hand he wanted to pull away, for their intimacy was inappropriate, but on the other hand the light breeze her breath sent near his neck was comfortable (which was a thought and feeling that shocked him beyond comprehension). He wondered what would happen if he did not pull away. Clearly this was an explicit sign of her intentions, and at least now he couldn't deny what she had meant with the kiss. Severus contemplated this new revelation.

_This is not good. If anyone ever found out! I'm a Death Eater! Okay, just snap at her_, Severus told himself, but it seemed his mind did not cooperate with his body, and no sound or movement came from him, but he continued to stand where he had stood the past few moments. This was wrong, he knew. This was one of things that simply couldn't be happening at that moment, or ever. Why did he even contemplate this? He didn't even like her. She was nothing more than a _silly, little girl_. _She's nothing_, he told himself. _Nothing_.

Hermione looked at Snape as he looked at her. Barely few seconds had gone by, but she could easily see the changes happening in him. First came a light relaxation, then he turned somewhat sturdy again and now he was frowning. Why was he frowning? Were her signals _that_ unclear? She didn't think so. She frowned after he had frowned too, and now both stood, quite close to each other (some might say too close), frowning and contemplating the new situation.

Perhaps you should turn down clever peoples brains instead of turning them completely off. Just a bit down, because, clearly they needed to think straight, but this was getting beyond straight.

However, the pair did not manage to contemplate their next move because the kitchen door, behind Severus, was opened and swung into him, softly, since he was standing in front of it. Severus, in surprise, moved forwards, his lips touching Hermione's only slightly, before they both moved away from each other.

"Oh, sorry Professor," Harry Potter entered the hallway. "I didn't know you were standing right in front of the door," he looked uncertainly at the Potions Master, not having realised Hermione was there too.

"Obviously _not_, Potter," the Potions Master characteristically said with a sneer and then he swept towards the great door leading to the world outside. A few flicks of his wand the door opened and he disappeared into the night. The last thing Hermione heard was the soft _clicks_ when the door closed again, bolting magically.

"The greasy git didn't give you troubles, did he?" Ron broke Hermione out of her reverie and she looked at him slightly annoyed.

"When are you going to stop calling him that?" Hermione asked, almost stomping her foot into the ground. Ron just chuckled softly as the trio made their way upstairs.

"We're out of school now, Herm, I can call him whatever I like," he replied, sounding quite smug.

"In that case, Ronald, I suggest that if you have anything bad to say about him, then you should say it to his face, and not his back!" Hermione wasn't sure why she was snapping at him, and she hadn't really even realised she was before she saw his expression of annoyance, disbelief and hurt. She made an irate noise and left the boys to themselves.

It wasn't until she was alone did she let out her anger in a hiss. She had gone to the small library of Grimauld's Place, but instead of reading, like you did in such places, she paced. And paced. She wasn't really thinking about anything, but was merely trying to rid herself of all her excess energy. She needed to be able to sit down and focus. After having relieved her energy through pacing Hermione sat down, taking a few deep breaths.

He had kissed her! Okay, so the door had swung into him, making him move forward somewhat, but that was a small detail she had no wish to focus on. He had KISSED her.

"What are you smiling at?" A voice questioned and Hermione looked towards the door, where Ginny stood, looking amused. Hermione realised she was practically glowing.

"Nothing," Hermione replied, calming herself. _If she only knew_, Hermione grinned.

"Take it the meeting went well?" She sounded a bit bitter, but there was nothing to say about that. She was the only one left who was not allowed in the Order.

"Yes, it went quite well," said Hermione dispassionately.

"And considering your huge grin I take it Professor Snape is a great kisser?" Ginny asked softly, eyeing her bookish friend closely. Hermione nearly choked, before managing to calm herself down.

"What- what do you mean?" Hermione rearranged herself in the sofa. Ginny rolled her eyes obviously.

"Gryffindors really don't know the art of subtlety," Ginny smirked somewhat to Hermione, who tried to look at innocent at ever. She probably would've succeeded if she hadn't been blushing so much.

"And you're subtle?" Hermione replied, snappishly.

"I have to be, I've grown up among boys," she smiled a bit restrainedly before stepping further into the room. They two girls looked at each other for several moments. "So, are you going to answer my question?"

"We didn't kiss," Hermione replied.

"Come on, Hermione, you can do better than that," Ginny stepped towards her again, nearing a chair opposite Hermione. Hermione did not reply. "Either way you were close, perhaps a bit too close. Care to tell me what it was about? I… I promise I won't tell… Ron," she let her brother's name flow with a breath of air.

"I… Before I left Hogwarts with my parents and went to see Professor Snape. I kissed him," Hermione revealed, sounding almost sad, "I think I'm in love with him. Head over heels, as they say," she sighed softly. "I don't know what to do…"

"Well, considering that he did not move away from you just before, I think he likes you too," Ginny replied, her voice equally soft.

"But we can't!" Hermione hissed, afraid anyone should hear their private conversation. "He's… you know what. The war is in full swing," Hermione looked panicked.

"Hermione, please," Ginny calmed her, her voice dropping a few tones. They stayed in silence for a little while. "What about Ron?"

"What about him?" Hermione wondered, her brown eyes searching her younger friend's.

"He's in love with you! You know that! He's been so for… for so long!" Ginny hissed, showing her true emotions. "Snape is Snape… and Ron is… you and Ron…" she trailed off, not sure of how to explain herself. She made an annoyed and sad sound, before getting up and leaving, quickly.

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**Please review and as always: DANCE WITH ME! Woohoo! Paaaaartyyyyy!... or something like it, anyway.**


	6. Avenging Solar Plexus

**DISCLAIMER: See first chapter.**

**THIS IS AN UPDATED CHAPTER**

**A/N: Thanks to my BETA, Linda, who has beta'd this chapter :-)**

**Also, thanks to all who has reviewed, keep up the good work. P****lease review, so I know if I shall continue this story

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****Chapter six – avenging solar plexus **

The Potion Master's office, tucked behind the classroom was lined with shelves that held various books and numerous jars with strange organisms. The jars were a major reason why Severus would even live in the dungeons on top of adding a certain element of fear, to his reputation. First: most of his jar specimens needed to be kept in a cool environment that would preserve its potency. He did not spent countless nights in the Forbidden forest carefully collecting these specimens to have its potency destroyed by sunlight. Second: Severus would never trust his students, or anyone less interested in potions, to keep their interest low and away from the jars if they were kept anywhere else in Hogwarts. Students who had the misfortune of being assigned detention considered his office scary and very creepy. When he first began teaching, it had irked and amused him when Hufflepuf students fainted in his office. It irked him to have to go and summon Poppy, wasting his valuable time, but inevitably this aided his reputation, even more as being the most feared professor.

Now during the summertime, any Gryffindor would never be caught in the dungeon if they were around. Few people would be, but Severus never saw a reason as to why he wouldn't be there. The dungeons were cool, he had his privacy, and as strange as it might sound, his office calmed him in a comfortable way. He does various activities in his office for hours: reading in his favourite chair, an old leather chair, writing notes for his third potions book, or, when his mood is dark, sits and contemplates things with fire whiskey.

Severus now sat in his favourite chair with a glass of fire whiskey, going over in his mind, what has happened only an hour previously. He had been so close to Hermione Granger. Close enough to smell her perfume and her hair. The scent was heavenly, her hair had smelled of peaches and her perfume was somewhat difficult to work out. It was not so strong, but it had a scent of fruits and freshness.

Normally this would please any man, the chance to be close to the one they want, but this did not please Severus at all. Not only was he confused about why the girl liked him, but he was also worried about why he started to react to her. Severus had never thought of her as anything, but an annoying know-it-all, nor had he ever seen her as anything else other than a student. It went against his morals.

Something had changed though and he was worried that his desire to pursue her would eventually lead to a broken heart, her broken heart, for how could he ever have any feelings for her beyond lust? If he had, surely, he would have felt them, BEFORE she kissed him.

No, no. What this was, is lust. She had opened a gate in him, leading to feelings he had promised never to feel again; Lust and desire.

Then again, how could he know that Ms. Granger did not want to just have sex? Severus tried not to curse under his breath. She had made it clear that she wanted him; perhaps it was only sex and nothing else. Hell, he couldn't see how anyone could love him, let alone desire him. Why did she want him? Surely…

Realization suddenly dawned on him.

Of course she did not want him! How could he be so stupid! The little bitch was playing a game! No doubt with her two friends and probably the Weasley girl, too! This was a game to them, and they were teasing him! They probably sat in one of the rooms of Grimauld's Place, laughing and talking about how they were going to get him back for all the things he had done to them. This was a perfect revenge. There's no revenge such as hitting the solar plexus, centre of all feelings. They would humiliate him and hit him where it hurts the most. They knew that he was alone, so of course they want to point out, just how alone he is!

He was going to have to get revenge. He was going to show Granger what will happen when she played with fire.

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**I shall slay a dragon if you'll be my bunny. REVIEW!****Please review, so I know if I shall continue this story**


	7. mind against the heart

**A/N: Please note that I depend on your reviews, and if you don't review I will take it as a sign for me to stop the story. Don't just read, but take the time to review.**

**NEED OF A BETA: I need a beta, please, if you're interested write to me.**

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**Chapter seven – mind against the heart**

Two days later.

"Hermione!" Ron called, as he strolled into one of the two doors entering the study of Grimauld's Place. He saw his friend sitting at a large table with books, parchments and quills spread before her. Hearing the sound, Hermione looked up from the book she was reading and placed it on the table.

Having now read the same four lines for the last hour and striving to clear her mind of a certain person, she was a bit relieved to be interrupted. She said, "You look quite happy, did something happen?"

Ron grinned cockily at her and said, "I got accepted and Harry, too! We're headed straight to being Aurors after Hogwarts!"

In that brief moment of silence that followed, after he announced the news to her, Hermione looked at her freckled friend seriously in the face. She knew that this day would come sooner or later, when the infamous Golden Trio would grow up and slowly drift apart in the directions life can bring. They were the best of friends and she knew that Ron and herself would go into the depths of hell, following Harry to defeat Voldemort. Hearing what Ron now told her though, stung her more then she admitted.

"Congratulations, Ron," she finally said smiling slightly. Ron's smile dimmed for a brief moment in worry before beaming once again at the small smile and he sat down beside Hermione.

"The war is going to end and you know that Harry and I were going for working in the Auror department just as you were meant to become a Healer," – Hermione wasn't so sure if she wanted to become a Healer anymore, though, but she suspected the draw back to be because the anxiety of facing the world outside of Hogwarts, and Voldemort. There was no reason to tell this to Ron, for he always expected her to have everything sorted out and in control.

"I know, but it seems too much at the moment with many decisions, suddenly appearing right in front of our faces." she replied resigned.

"No worries, we'll survive. We always do," with those words Ron kissed her cheek and walked out of the room leaving Hermione to sigh sadly.

"What about those who won't survive?" she whispered, as Ginny then walked into the room.

Hermione looked at her friend and for the next few moments there was only silence. There was some tension between the two females after Ginny told Hermione of Ron's feelings for her.

Ginny finally said, sitting in the same seat as her brother, "Hermione, I'm sorry, for what I told you. I didn't mean for you to expect that you should love only Ron and not Snape. You shouldn't be forced by anyone into loving someone."

Hermione replied, heavily, "I know Gin."

"But I know that he's liked you since your fourth year and…"

"Your brother has never done anything to prove his affections, Ginny. You, nor anyone, can't just expect me to wait for the day he finally does. Now, I can't help feeling what I do and…it's just difficult" she ended quietly.

Ginny replied with a pensive look, "You're not really in love with him, are you?"

Her eyes searched Hermione's, trying to seek the answer she wanted, but Hermione's tinge of red said the complete opposite…

She finally asked, "Do you think this is wise?"

Shaking her head, Hermione said, "No, this is not at all wise. Quite the opposite maddening way really, but despite our surroundings; I just can't help wishing." She finished in a hopeful way.

"If that is your choice then, I will support you no matter what. Perhaps love will make him a lesser bastard. For Snape is more bastard than anyone I know," Ginny laughed and Hermione joined in, laughing quietly.

"Yes, let's just hope so…" she breathed out.

"Now what are you going to do the next time you see him? Something wicked or something that will make his head spin, and give you full control over him?"

The Gryffindor Head Girl could only shrug, her spirits cheered once more, before the door behind them slammed open.

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At Hogwarts, Severus was pacing around in his office, still contemplating on what to do. He had done so, ever since he realized what was really going on. He wanted her to be taught a lesson, but at the same time he wanted it to be a lesson she would always remember …and not necessarily in a good way. The best lesson was to beat her at her own game.

For Merlin's sake, he knew Legemency and could just look into her mind and see what her plans were. Before she could 'hurt' his feelings he would first hurt hers.

All this was giving him a headache!

In a much simple and effective way though, he can just teach her a quick lesson. Show her not to play with fire.

Deciding on that strategy, Severus made his way to Dumbledore's office and got a portkey to the Headquarter, using the excuse of misplacing something important there.

Being portkeyed to the staircase near the study, Snape stood still, as he heard the voice of someone laughing, "Snape is more bastard than anyone I know." A quieter laugh followed. His eyes looked around to see the study's door ajar and he moved closer to the door and heard the voice of Hermione Granger saying softly, "Yes, let's just hope so."

He then heard the voice of Ginny Weasley say, "Now what are you going to do the next time you see him? Something wicked or something that will make his head spin, and give you full control over him?" Severus clenched his jaw angrily then, so this was really nothing, but a game to them and did she really think she could ever gain control over him?

A wicked smile crossed his lips and an evil glint settled in his eyes, before he slammed open the door, startling both girls. From the way they looked, brief moment flashed through their eyes as Severus then said in a silky manner, "Miss Weasley and Miss Granger. It is fine weather outside, why don't you both go out into the garden and giggle there instead of spending your time in here?"

This was an unspoken request to them to get the hell out of his sight, and characteristic enough for him to say those words, without letting them know that he was onto their game.

Seeing that the Potions Master wasn't angrier then usual, the two girls visibly relaxed.

Leaving in a hurry, the Weasley girl said, "Ehh… I actually have some things to do."

She left behind a scarlet-faced Hermione and for a few moments the Professor and the student regarded each other, or rather Severus regarded Hermione, while she regarded the carpet.

"Miss Granger don't you have something you can go play with, so I might be alone?" The hint against her age angered her as he intended and she looked up at him, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"I don't play," she replied, holding her chin high and he could almost laugh at her.

Moving over to a bookshelf, he waved a hand and said, nonchalantly, "Well, nonetheless, rid yourself from my sight then."

"For your information,_ sir_, I was here first" Hermione informed, and he cocked an eyebrow to look at her.

"Really?" He replied with a mocking voice, "but I'm the oldest and it is as such, I decide."

Hermione looked far angrier now, but it took only seconds for it to turn into a full and deep blush. Realizing that she wouldn't win him over, without making a fool of herself; Hermione stood and crossed the room, but she had barely reached for the handle of the door when a force from behind pushed and pinned her to the door.

Horrified, Hermione could only sputter, "What are you doing?"

"Come now, my dear," Severus purred in reply.

"You really can't believe I want you to leave, bearing in mind our little affairs," he whispered more intensely, and Hermione shifted lightly in her spot. His voice was causing her abdomen to clench.

"I'm just annoyed today," he continued his purr.

Suddenly feeling tired and very confused Hermione only said, trailing off, "But you just said…"

Teasing her, he ran his tongue against the curve of her ear as he purred lightly, "I changed my mind, now can't a man change his mind?"

She let out a muffled whimper, feeling that part of her body moistening. She wondered briefly, how anyone could have such an affect on another person.

Turn around, sweets, so that I can see you," he requested with a silky purr and Hermione turned around with some difficulty, feeling on the edge of orgasm when he used a nickname. Her cheeks were red and her eyes crystal clear. Severus nuzzled his cheek against hers, before ending his lips at the corner of her mouth. Hermione whimpered in delight under his touch.

He whispered as his lips moved toward her ear, "How could you ever think that I can fall in love with you, Miss Granger, is beyond me. You're an impossible chit, a mere child, beneath me in every way. This is not even registering the fact that you are in the house and friends with people I despise the most."

Leaving his words at that, he opened the door and forced her to step to the side. Severus walked out of the room, ignoring the queasy feeling of wrongness in the pit of his stomach.

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COME WHAT MAY... Shit, wrong fiction! Anyway, if you review I will try talking Obi-Wan Kenobi into Jedi-junmping to your roof to sing. Now, dance, everyone, dance your feisty dance!**


	8. The Show Will Go On

_**(A/N: Snape uses endearments in this story to mock lovers, though Hermione does not realise that.)**_

_**Also: I realised Gimmauld Place is spelled like… Grimmauld Place and not "Grimauld's Place" like I used to write it, as with "Legilimensy" and not "Legemency"**_

_Thanks to my betas: Linda and Lizzie!_

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**Chapter eight – The Show Will Go On **

Severus left the library and Hermione heard the front door of Grimmauld Place open and shut. Her hands shook slightly in shock as she tentatively touched her kiss-swollen lips. Her mind started to register what he had whispered into her ear, a few minutes earlier. When she realized the implications of his words, Hermione fell to her knees, unable to even remain standing.

Her arms reached out to close, lock, and ward the door as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. She blinked furiously, trying to will away any unwilling tears; taking several deep breaths, as she further tried to compose herself, but it was useless, as tears had started to roll down her cheeks.

Biting her lips until she felt a metallic tang, Hermione tried to muffle sounds of her grief. She wrapped her arms around knees and started to rock back and forth as she felt her heart shatter.

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Severus opened the door and forced Miss Granger to step aside. Then he slipped into the dimly lit hallway and gracefully swept down the stairs and left though the entrance of the house. Then he Apparated to the gates of Hogwarts and strolled forward to Hogwarts, almost humming as he was quite pleased with himself. The confrontation he had with Hermione Granger would, in his opinion, stop any mischief schemes from happening, and if Miss Granger was intelligent enough to stay away from him, once and for all. No one double-crosses Severus Snape without paying, and so now that he had his revenge, he was a happy man.

Or was he?

He was very pleased with his actions, but a nagging inner voice told him that this might not be the end of it.

Crushing that voice, Snape shrugged it off. The annoying Know-it-all had opened the gate to his feelings, and now he didn't know when he would be able to seal again the belief of hope.

Hope would never come for a man who has two masters.

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Ginny had left the library with the excuse of having something to do, but what would that be?

She didn't have anything to do at all, so now, she went to the kitchen and found Ron and Harry sitting at the table, attentively playing chess with mugs of steaming cocoa at hand. Ron grunted a greeting as Harry picked up one of his hands and waved it over his head.

"Well aren't you two, just relaxed, hullo," Ginny responded, making a seat for herself, with another hot chocolate appearing when she sat next to Harry.

She wondered what would happen if the boys knew who was upstairs with Hermione now. The thought of how Ron would react didn't bode well with her. He would definitely freak out. Not only, it was Professor Snape, but there was the fact, that he was in love with Hermione. Her, Ginny's, brother definitely had the wrong impression of Hermione waiting for him. This might not be the case as Hermione had said in her own intentions, so it was only Ron's fault for not realising that she wouldn't wait for him, like an obedient puppy.

"What's Hermione doing?" Harry now asked, stifling a yawn as he made a move.

Taking a sip of her drink, she fibbed and said, "Hermione's doing some pretty important research and does not want to be disturbed. Nearly bit my head off when I did."

Both boys snorted and Ron's knight captured one of Harry's rooks. The game turned serious as Ginny looked on the game.

They didn't register the front door opening and closing.

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Night was falling, when Hermione finally became aware of Mrs. Weasely's voice calling, "Dinner Time!"

From where she curled into a ball on the library floor, Hermione made a move to rise, but fell backwards, too physically and emotionally drained to sit up. She was thankful to have cast a silencing spell earlier within the walls of this room. No one heard her grief earlier.

The words that Severus said still reverberated in her head. _"How could you ever think that I can fall in love with you, Miss Granger, is beyond me. You're an impossible chit, a mere child, beneath me in every way. This is not even registering the fact that you are in the house and friends with people I despise the most." _

Her mind was filled with despairing thoughts, as she tried to get over the hurt she felt.

What did he mean by her being beneath him, in years or experience? Was it because she was a muggleborn?

She had never been in love with anyone before, but what could she do with this obviously unrequited refused love? There might not be anything in the books and she wasn't sure of telling Ginny what happened. How many things about love does she, Ginny, know to help her?

A knock sounded on the door and Ginny's voice called from the other side. "Hermione? Dinner's ready, are you coming?"

"I'm not hungry, Gin." Hermione replied.

"Hermione… are you okay? How did it go? Can you open the door?" She tried to open the closed door again and for a moment Hermione wondered if she should refuse.

Eventually though, she got up and opened the door. Ginny entered and closed the door behind her. She looked at her friend and gasped as she saw the condition her young friend was in.

Tear tracks were still drying on her face, as her eyes were dull and lifeless. Her mouth appeared to be swollen and she appeared to be in shock.

"Hermione what happened?" Ginny moved towards Hermione quickly and placed an arm around her.

Hermione looked away as she murmured, "Nothing."

"Mione," Ginny said and Hermione turned to look at her again, "can you please tell me what happened?"

Looking at the earnest face of her friend, Hermione's resolve broke down and she started to sob into Ginny's shoulder.

After calming down enough, she told her what occurred after she left. Ginny remained silent for a few minutes before pensively answering, "I think we have to take the war into consideration… If you ask me, Snape likes you; I saw what happened in the hall the other day,"

"But that doesn't mean anything," Hermione said fretfully. "Everyone falls for lust… perhaps he saw me as nothing but a quick-" she covered her face with her hands, unable to finish saying her sentence.

The meaning hung in the air as Ginny said, "Hermione, Snape does not act like that."

She said this, not really knowing anything about that Slytherin in particular, but she would be damned before she let this stamp her friend down.

As she looked at her friend's downcast and drawn face though, Ginny's temper broke and she said in anger, "You know what. Forget that slimy git. Screw Snape! You will do better without him. It's his loss that he rejected you. We're Gryffindor women and you have to show that you weren't affected by his words. There's no way that our house will ever lose to their blasted Serpentine hides."

Hermione looked at her pleadingly as she said, "I wish that I can be as you said, but Ginny, I am NOT strong. How can you even cope with being rejected like that?"

Ginny sighed and said, "I really don't know, I have never felt heartbroken before, but I'll help you with this," the young Weasley promised.

Hermione nodded with her eyes still drawn as her friend said with determination, "Come on, we have to get you ready for dinner. I'm sure you don't want Ron and Harry knowing what happened, so you will have to show the world that nothing had happened to break you."

Hermione had a small smile as she stood up and with a few spells by Ginny; she felt refreshed and made up, as if her heart was not broken. Pretending everything was fine, she went to dinner knowing that it may take a long time before her heart mended.

The idea that Snape saw her unworthy, had hit her like a brick, and the feeling of trust she felt towards him, was replaced with a mixture of wariness, uneasy of the next time that she will see him.

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**I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I only write as long as you review. No reviewing no writing**


	9. time for action

**A/N: Sorry for not having updated in a while, but I couldn't write. All this with HBP has made me somewhat incompetent. Just need to settle with the facts and get over the shock. NOnetheless I suppose this story will turn AU, since it doesn't follow the 'rules'. Please be patient with me. I am NOT abandoning this, or any, story of mine!**

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**Chapter nine - time for action**

The first couple of days were perhaps the hardest to cope with. Hermione had to understand what Snape had told her and on top of it she had to pretend everything was fine, in order not to raise suspicion. Hermione had thought it would be easy, just as easy as it was logical. There was no reason to like Snape anymore, for he had proven that, but still her heart refuse to dispose the feelings she felt for her, and despite how much she tried to suppress Snape he kept popping into her mind almost every minute.

Over and over again she had to tell herself that she did not like him, that she did not need him, or anyone for that matter, who found her unworthy.

However, Hermione soon realised that in reality this wasn't so easy as it might've seemed. Snape refused to leave her mind. Not even reading helped. The letters turned distant and she discovered that she could read pages without having really understood what it had said. The food turned to ashes in her mouth and all in all she just wanted to be alone.

Ginny, though, was the only one who noticed the changes in Hermione, everyone else was far too busy. Ginny kept cheering Hermione up, and managed only just. However, the Order meetings soon ruined all Ginny's hard work, for the moment Hermione saw Snape she'd turn lifeless and distant again.

"Miss Granger, you seem awfully quiet tonight," Dumbledore commented at the second Order meeting after the _incident_. Hermione looked up at the Headmaster, not quite sure at what to say.

"I am afraid, Headmaster, I cannot think of anything sufficient to come up with," for a split second her eyes strayed towards the man next to the Headmaster, who did not even spare her a glance. She could feel her heart sink into the pit of her stomach, and then a new feeling arose in her.

Hermione's heart betrayed her and in the end of the meeting Hermione had to hurry to her room in order not to slip her secret. The pain she was feeling was getting worse around Snape, and not doing anything about it was hurting her more and more. Hermione left for the sanctuary of her rooms, where she could hide and get herself under control.

"Hermione," Ginny sat down on Hermione's bed, where Hermione sat, taking a few deep breaths in order to calm herself.

With slight difficulty due to the fact that Hermione was on the edge of crying hysterically, she answered: "I'm all right, Ginny. Really," she forced the last part out through her lips, and Ginny gave her a dubious look, but said nothing.

Once Hermione had regained her composure she left for the library, leaving Ginny to herself. A last glance towards Hermione escaped Ginny and the young Weasley knew she had to do something. _Anything_. The thought of talking with Snape could turn to something not very pleasant, but she knew she needed answers. She promised herself that in the morning she'd go to Hogwarts and visit the Potions Master. Something needed to be done, despite the horrifying feeling she was having.

Best not to tell Hermione anything, Ginny decided, knowing that her bushy know-it-all for a friend would object to her plan

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**Reiew and join the rest of usin the Temple of Sweat.**


	10. mission ‘possibly fatal’

**Thanks to my lovely betas, Linda and Lizzie.**

**Also, please check out the last story in the seriest of Voldemort as mushroom. It's called "Revenge of the Mushroom". Short and silly :P**

**Enjoy**

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**Chapter ten – mission 'possibly fatal'**

The mist had come to Grimmauld Place and lay thickly around the house, causing everything to look dimmer and colder than it was originally. The sun had taken refuge behind thick clouds, causing the day to turn into night.

Grimmauld Place was lit up brightly in vague hope of chasing the cold shadows away, but despite any attempt the mood seemed to darken. Not even the Weasley twins managed to lighten the difficult mood, their jokes turned forced and tiresome.

One person, however, was perhaps the only one at Grimmauld Place who wasn't affected by the darkness surrounding. A young woman, whose brows were constantly furrowed in concentration, was not affected by the change in the weather.

She slipped into the kitchen and smiled lightly at the people in there, before taking a seat by the table, occupying herself with a random magazine, which lay on the table. She did not read, however, but waited patiently until the kitchen was clear.

"Ron has just gotten a new order from Fred and George, I think" she finally said, when it became apparent that the last person occupying the kitchen had no intentions of leaving at the moment. Only vaguely did Ginny Weasley feel the guilt in the pit of her stomach, for turning her brother in. Molly Weasley threw down her occupation and hurried towards the youngest male Weasley, leaving Ginny to herself in the kitchen. For a moment she listened, before hurrying over to the mantelpiece above the large fireplace, from where she grabbed some floo powder from a box. She stepped into the fireplace and called 'Hogwarts' after which she disappeared in green flames.

As she stepped out of the fireplace she was met by the Headmaster, who looked quite surprised to see her, "Miss Weasley," he greeted her, and gestured for her to take a seat. Ginny, however, declined.

"I apologise for coming to Hogwarts, Professor," Ginny apologised quickly, "but I needed to speak with Professor Snape… about… um, something personal," Ginny explained, now realising that she had forgotten to come up with a proper explanation beforehand. The Headmaster tilted his head to the side.

"These are dark times, Miss Weasley, could you not have waited for the next Order meeting?" The young woman twisted lightly in her spot, and looked slightly nervous, but did not back down.

"I don't know when the next meeting is, since I'm not in the Order. And it can't wait…" she trailed off, avoiding the Headmaster's gaze, so that he couldn't read her mind. However, that action, she knew, would lead him to believe that something _was_ wrong, and thus make him suspicious. She decided to stick with the lie about it being something utterly personal.

"Very well, Miss Weasley. Shall I get him?" The Headmaster made to stand, but Ginny forestalled him by holding up a hand.

"No, no," she assured, "I'm quite capable of walking," she gave him and light smile, and the Headmaster furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Very well," he said and sunk into his chair again. "Severus is in the dungeons," there was a light glint in his eyes as he spoke this, and Ginny let out a small giggle, before leaving.

It wasn't until that she had reached the root of the Headmaster's office that Ginny realised the seriousness of her action. She really was on her way to Snape. She shuddered and hoped that things would proceed as she had imagined they would in her head.

Her steps echoed lightly as she slipped down the large stone staircase to the dungeons. Again she tried to suppress a shudder, and kept forcefully reminding herself that she was a Gryffindor and she was doing it to help her friend.

Her steps ended by the door leading to Snape's office. She stood in front of it for a few moments, her hand poised to knock.

"What are you doing here, Weasley?" A voice spat out behind her and Ginny wheeled around in shock and surprise.

"Professor," Ginny gasped in surprised and involuntarily took a step back, but realised that the door was in her way. He folded his arms across his chest while he gave her the greatest look of utter contempt she had ever seen. She swallowed hard. "I need to speak to you," she managed croaked out…

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**Oh uh! NO! NO! ARG! DOOOON'T!... Ehem, what I was meant to say is: REVIEW! Woohoo! May the sunbunny be with you!**


	11. Stirring the Cauldron

**Hullo, readers! Currently I am working on a special HP project, which I hope you'll be taking a look at when time comes. As of yet it won't be uploaded anywhere online until I've finished this story... The other is canon, at the moment anyway, and this is not... besides, don't want to overwork my betas Lizzie and Linda :D**

**Also: thanks to everyone who has bothered reviewing. It makes my day to see your reviews, constructive or just positive words. Please do not stop.**

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**Chapter 11 – Stirring the Cauldron**

"Indeed?" Responded Snape, sounding far from amused. Ginny gulped and nodded. "Then perhaps we should proceed to my office, Miss Weasley?" His voice was far too polite to be true, but Ginny had to push her fear away and do what she came to do.

"Yes, that would be nice," she caressed her arms as if pretending that the shiver was caused from coldness and not nervousness. She stepped away and allowed Snape to open the door, and looked a bit disconcerted when he gestured for her to enter first. Some would say he was just polite, but others might think it to be an easy way to hex her from behind.

Trying with all her might to look normal, Ginny answered: "Thank you, Sir," remembering that despite her promise of serious rebuke she should remember his title. Ironic, perhaps, but that wasn't something Ginny was thinking about now.

Snape, for his part, looked vaguely expecting, as if waiting for her to do something. She, Ginny, wasn't quite sure what he was expecting, but surely it wouldn't be the conversation about to take place. He gestured towards a chair, "Please sit, Miss Weasley," he asked and again Ginny nodded numbly, only mustering a vague thanks in reply. "Now, Miss Weasley, what is it you want? I had hoped to be rid of students in my vacation, but clearly this is not the case, so get to the point, please," his voice never wavered from a relaxed, almost bored, but somehow still formal tone.

"Yes, well," Ginny sat higher in her chair, going over her well-prepared speech mentally. Snape smirked, knowing what she was doing. He had seen it all before. The students used to try and give themselves mental pep talks. However, this was different, he knew, and he was slightly curious as to what she would cook up for him.

"I'd like to talk to you about your relationship with Hermione," she finally managed to sound, sounding quite relaxed. However, too many seconds had passed for Severus to actually believe that she was indeed relaxed.

"I must correct you, Miss Weasley, but I am not in a relationship with Miss Granger," he raised a brow, "and I am concerned as to why Miss Granger, and you for that matter, would think so-" ahh yes, the Weasley's were never good at controlling their temper.

"YES YOU WERE!" Ginny blurted out, flushing with anger. "I saw you! The way you look at her!" Severus leaned back and studied the young Gryffindor. Something was wrong; he could feel it. It was the same feeling he had had when he had left the Headquarter after his reprimand of Miss Granger. Otherwise they were simply just very keen on punishing him. Their bluntness and lack of subtlety was certainly not out of the ordinary.

"Miss Weasley, I would never…" He trailed off with a cold shake of his head.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Ginny finally said and leaned back. This took Severus by surprise. "I know that your… line of work makes it difficult to be with Hermione, especially since she's a muggleborn… But the way you told her off, after having led her to believe you were interested, was too cruel. You could have told her the truth. I know Voldemort-"

"Miss Weasley," Severus forestalled any further comment. "What are you talking about?" Ohh… here was that sinking feeling again, just much more noticeable.

"Voldemort, of course," Ginny said, brows furrowed. "Voldemort would kill you if he knew you cared about a muggleborn –not that I know if you care, but it looked like it-"

Severus called: "Miss Weasley," before she got further in her incoherent rant, "You're little game has gone on long enough, it's time for you to stop," Severus looked into her eyes and Ginny fell silent. Slowly her brows furrowed in confusion. "I need you to leave, quick," Severus stood and shooed Ginny out of the door, after which he locked it securely behind him. Slowly Severus dropped to the floor, leaning against the door.

"Shit," he whispered and covered his head in his arms that rested on his knees, which he had pulled up to his chest. For a man who refused revealing his feelings in public this was a remarkable and vulnerable position. His chest tightened as he realised the extent of the damaged he had caused. He had led her, Hermione, to believe she was worthless, an entirely untrue thing, and he had led her to believe that he had nothing to spare for someone like her. He had led her to believe that he thought her unclean, just because he had thought her feelings an act. He might as well have called her a mudblood.

"You bastard," Severus muttered to himself.

"Why Severus, how cruel of you," a voice spoke from the fireplace with a hint of mirth. Severus looked up and fixed Albus Dumbledore with a stare that he would never forget. The Headmaster looked surprised and barely managed to continue: "Can I come by?"

Severus snarled out a highly negative response, and turned back to the cradle of his arms. Despite feeling as if Severus had hit rock bottom, and that it couldn't possibly get worse, something happened that proved him wrong. A light tingling sensation flared on his forearm, turning into a burning sensation.

He was being summoned.

Severus heaved a sigh and forced himself to stand, aware that Dumbledore was still watching him with a frowning and slightly worried expression.

"I am being summoned," Severus said, forcing all emotion away from his awareness. Within a few seconds his face was void from all emotion.

"Severus-" Dumbledore objected, for once in his life worried that Severus might not be able to handle this turn of events. However, before Dumbledore could continue Severus had left the office, soon the dungeons through a secret passage, and would within moments kneel before his master. Perhaps, Severus thought, this was for the best. In the eyes of the Death Eaters, which consisted of many influential people of the wizarding world, he was a Death Eater, and Death Eaters does not dream of brown eyed Mudbloods. _They kill them._

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	12. the war begins

**Why is no one reading my last one-shot in the Mushroom series? Revenge of the Mushroom? It's a one-shot. Damn you all! Read it! It's about Snape and Hermione, you like such things! **

**Thanks to my lovely betas, Linda and Lizzie**

**Also, I am in the need of a beta. Linda, one of my current betas, has turned down the post of betaing my upcming story, which is about the search for Horcruxes. It will be as canon as possible... except the relationships. I am still trying to figure out whether it be Snape or Draco Hermione will end up with. Anyway, if you would like the post please mail me. My mail is is found at my info page****

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Chapter 12 – the war begins **

Ginny Weasley arrived safely back at Grimmauld Place after having been given a feather from Fawkes. She felt lucky that no one was in the kitchen when she arrived, but only few minutes later Mrs Weasley came into the kitchen briskly. She barely noticed Ginny and went straight for the dishes, muttering angrily under her breath. For a moment Ginny waited to look at her mother, who seemed distressed, more so than usual; briefly the youngest Weasley wondered what had happened that could've caused such reaction with her mother. The last time she had seen her in this state had been when the twins had announced their intention of not ever working at the Ministry, and opening a joke-shop instead.

Ginny, who didn't want to be in the same room as her mother when she was angry, headed silently for the door. Mrs Weasley hissed out a sound in apparent frustration. Ginny let the door close softly behind her and for a moment she dwelled on the thought of when she had seen Snape and Hermione just where she stood, close. She shuddered a bit and wondered about Snape's reaction. Something was not right. He had seemed as if he hadn't minded what she had done, but when she reminded him of it he had seemed shocked.

Climbing the stairs in four leaps, Ginny proceeded toward the small library where she would probably find Hermione. All she could do now was sympathise with her friend, as Snape was a puzzle, and she had no interest in solving it. She took the stairs in four leaps and proceeded towards the small library, where she would, undoubtedly, find Hermione.

The scene before her reminded her of the utter silence before the great storm. Or perhaps the storm had already been there. Hermione was sitting in the one end of the couch, reading a book. She glanced up at Ginny, her eyes telling Ginny that she knew what she had done. Ginny swallowed nervously. In the other end of the couch sat Harry, who was reading a Quidditch magazine, but glanced towards her and smiled when she entered. '_At least one of them isn't angry with me' _Ginny wondered and let her gaze fall at Ron, who was reading a thick book. Ginny had the feeling that he really wasn't reading.

She hesitated and then opened her mouth to speak, but the first sound was drowned when Ron slapped his book shut. For a moment she wondered if he was going to rant at her, but she suspected that he'd give her the silent treatment until she told him off, and then he'd rant at her. Just like always.

As expected Ron rose from his seat and passed her with the air of coldness about him. She heard the door open and slam shut behind her. Ginny now looked at Harry, who had smiled before, but she realised now that it had been somewhat strained greeting. He stood, gave her a curt nod, obviously not sure of how to act towards her, and then followed after Ron, leaving the girls alone. Ginny took a seat and grabbed the book Ron had been reading. She frowned and realised it was about education.

Then the sound of a book snapping shut brought Ginny's attention to Hermione, who was now looking at Ginny angrily. Then Hermione asked, "You went and saw him now, didn't you?" It wasn't really a question, as it was more than a statement.

Ginny could only reply, "Yes-" before Hermione continued

"And you told your mother that Ron had hidden stuff from the twins' store," Hermione continued, as if she hadn't heard Ginny's reply. "In the last half hour this house has been a war zone, just because you felt the need to find an excuse to get out of the house so you could meddle in things that aren't really your bloody business anyway!" Ginny moved in her seat uncomfortably.

Hermione continued to speak, her voice dropping several tones and ended in a whisper. "Don't you realise that this'll make him dislike me even more now?" Ginny winched as Hermione said in a soft voice.

"Hermione, I just wanted to know… and…" Her voice went off when she realised that she couldn't even defend her actions. She had indeed meddled, and none of it made any difference. Snape only responded by throwing her out.

Bugger.

Hermione crossed her arms: "So what did he say?" Her voice only wavered for a split second, before turning bossy again.

Ginny lowered her eyes, knowing that she couldn't say much. When she looked up at Hermione again she saw tears, "he said… that… he didn't have time to chat and then he threw me out," Ginny stuttered, feeling more regret for her actions for every second passing. A low whimper sounded before Hermione rushed out of the library to seek privacy in her room. Ginny slumped into the chair, feeling more stupid than ever. Of course Hermione would realise what she had done when Molly came up and searched Ron for no real reason. Of course she'd be angry, especially since the situation had been everything else than improved.

Hermione thought that dinner was a simple affair. Not many spoke, and if they did it was heavily squashed by the carelessness of the younger. As ten p.m. crept by, people started to go to bed, the mood heavy as the dim mist outside. Hermione went to bed half and hour or so after Ginny, for she had no interest in speaking with the youngest Weasley at the moment. The thought of what had happened when Ginny had visited Snape agitated her. She could just imagine how he'd laughed mercilessly, and asked why they could ever believe that he was interested in a mudblood like her. A bushy one, no less! Sod!

In just an hour though, something woke her up as Ginny muttered something unintelligent from the bunk bed above. Something felt very wrong as she though of hearing the door open. Hermione sat up straight as she called out, "Ginny, what's going on?" As Hermione found her wand, the door opened.

"Girls, up," Mrs Weasley spoke urgently, enlightening the room up, with a candle in her hand, in a soft glow. "Now!" Mrs Weasley demanded and Ginny and Hermione were shaken out of their beds by her tone. With tired movements the two girls got out of bed and left their room to go into the kitchen. Ron and Harry were also coming out of their room, which lay across from Ginny's and Hermione's.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, looking at Harry tiredly. He looked strangely awake, and he was already dressed. He replied with a shrug, but Hermione knew that he knew.

"Come now" Mrs Weasley gathered the four of them when they entered the kitchen. She took them to seat near her. The entire Order was sitting in the kitchen already, only increasing Hermione's anxiety.

Dumbledore spoke gravely, from the head of the table, "I am afraid to say this, but I believe that this night we'll be going into war."

Ron and Ginny gave shocked reactions whilst Hermione only stood motionless. She glanced towards Harry and tried to read his expression, though without luck, but she knew he had known and had probably been the one to warn Dumbledore. She felt anger surge through her veins at the thought of his burden, and she protectively grasped his hands She felt strangely calm, and absolutely ready to fight for Harry and all she believed in.

Severus Snape flashed through her mind and she wondered momentarily why Snape hadn't warned them. Or perhaps he had, but in that case, where was he now? She felt her breath hitch in her throat…

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	13. DYING to see you

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, be sure to keep it up! thanks to my two lovely betas: Linda and Lizzie.****

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**Chapter 13 – DYING to see you**

The house was alive with bustle as everyone rushed around to get ready for the war. One part of Hermione was dying to laugh out loud and scream how unrealistic everything was, but another part of her had too much to worry about, to take notice.

After the emergency meeting had ended Hermione had rushed to her room to get ready. She stood by her bed for a moment readying herself for what was happening, but Ginny then rushed past her to get ready too.

Ginny looked over to her and her mouth opened, but she spoke no words. Rather she looked at Hermione who in turn had a frown as she realized what her friend was trying to say to her.

Hesitantly, Hermione placed a hand on Ginny's shoulder and whispered, "It's all right." Moving on, Hermione slipped out of the room and went back to the kitchen where she still saw Harry standing with other Order members.

"Harry," Hermione called out as she moved towards Harry. She grasped his hand and said, "Come with me." Together they left the kitchen for a quieter place. Once in a storeroom, Hermione looked Harry over as she said, "You can do this, you know."

"Yeah," Harry whispered back, not sounding quite as sincere.

"No, Harry, listen to me." Hermione whispered strongly at her first best friend, "you can do it, and every one out there wants to help and guide you," Hermione then smiled lovingly as she embraced her friend. "It's going to be alright," she promised

"Hermione," Harry tried to pull away, but Hermione refused to let go of him just yet, "promise me you won't die," his voice almost cracked with unshed emotions, and Hermione felt her heart skip. First now she let them part, though still kept his close. She slowly let him pull away, keeping her hands still on his arms.

"I won't die, Harry, and neither will you," she said firmly. Harry, reassured, smiled to her and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"You're right, we can do this," he agreed and lit up a bit more. Hermione grinned proudly at him and together they followed to the kitchen again, where everyone was waiting.

Hermione was throwing off curses in random direction. There were Death Eaters everywhere, so she was bound to hit one of them at some point, she was sure. Voldemort was farther away, fighting with Harry at a mental stance. They couldn't use their wands, so they attacked each other's mind, as the Death Eaters and Order members fought.

It was night-time and the final battle was taking place on a grassy field, Hermione was not sure of where they were actually, since they had all Apparated there from Hogwarts.

She almost stumbled over a corpse of someone she knew not if were Death Eater or Order. It was hard to see in the night. She no longer gasped when she stumbled over dead people, but moved on. It was far too risky to stay in one place for too many seconds. Best to be moving at all times, or you might get hexed.

The night was lit up by spells, but the only sounds were the screams of people hit or when someone called orders, otherwise it was all strangely silent. Hermione looked around frantically searching for her fellow fighters. Ron was fighting with his brothers and Ginny by his side, and otherwise everyone was split up into groups.

She moved towards them, searching the confines of safety within their ranks, but was caught unaware by a spell and was flown through the air like a paper doll.

"Ohh…" Hermione moaned. She could've died if she hadn't landed on something soft. It took her a second to realise what the softness might be, and then she sprung to her feet, refusing to look if the dead person she had landed on was on her side or not. Someone called out and in a blur of black robes Hermione saw silver hair.

She called out for Ginny and Ron upon realising that they were surrounding her. Her mind registered that she should be moving, towards them or something, just not stand still, and so she moved, towards one of the smaller Death Eaters surrounding her, while shielding herself from their spells.

She pushed black robes around and felt relief at breaking out of their circle. However, soon enough something got a hold of her arms and forced her back into their midst. She registered laughing and then she felt the pain of a thousand knives.

She tried to defend herself, but could barely do so for they were too many. Another force arrived in the form of Ministry Officials, or so Hermione suspected as the few faces she saw was unrecognisable, and forced the Death Eaters to break their circle in order to defend themselves. Hermione took the chance and got up, stunning and killing whomever she saw wearing the infamous Death Eater capes.

She engaged in a brief skirmish with Lucius Malfoy before he backed off. Now Hermione was free to slip through the dead or stunned bodies on the field, her. Her eyes roamed the battlefield again, searching her friends, and saw, with great relief, that they seemed to be all standing.

She continued her path towards them, but found herself nearly knocked off her feet by a Death Eater. She made to call out a spell, but stopped when she met the Death Eater's eyes. Snape.

He was holding her arms slightly tight to make sure she did not fall from their crash, but Hermione barely noticed. She was too shocked to see him and somewhat relieved. However, the moment of sentimentally passed quickly when the memory of him clouded her vision.

She wrenched herself free from him in rage and snarled, "Have you finally showed your true colours, Death Eater?" For a brief moment he looked at her surprised as she continued, "will you kill the mudblood now!" He barely had time to reply before Hermione moved to a safe distance from the spell she was about to send. Caught unaware Snape barely had time to reflect it and so his defence was not proper since he had no expected to be attacked by a fellow, and it left a few light gashes on his cheek and he was sure he felt it on his body too.

Before Snape could do more Hermione had disappeared and had now joined her friends.

Hermione was near Harry when it happened. The green light erupted and crashed into Voldemort and he fell to the ground. She stopped fighting and scarcely missed a spell thrown towards her. Slowly, like a chain reaction, people stopped fighting and soon everyone had stopped. All heads were turned towards Harry who still had his wand pointed at the body lying on the ground very near him.

Every Death Eater started to panic. A few yelled out, screaming for their master and it not to be true, and the rest tried to escape, though mostly without luck. Hermione had rushed to Harry as had the Weasley children, and they stood protectively around Harry until he had managed to get ready to fight.

It only took moments for him to recover, not that they had much more time, and now more whole than ever Harry, Ron and Hermione moved to fight together as they had always done in the past. Hermione did not notice Snape throughout the rest of the battle.

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	14. The Aftermath

**Please take notice that the story is taking place during the summer period just after the Golden Trio has left Hogwarts.**

**Chapter 14 – The Aftermath**

Only hours after Voldemort's death, at the hands of Harry Potter, the grey clocking mist of the dementor's dissipated, revealing the face of summer in the its full glory of vegetative green; however, the people whom noticed and enjoyed the freedom from the capturing mist were not those who had helped to remove it, but were, in fact, innocent muggles and magical; none who knew of why it had disappeared.

Sadly, those who actually knew of why it was fading were too busy to either take notice or care

With the exception of one person.

Harry Potter was back at Hogwarts, standing in the Room of Requirement. The room had conjured a spacious room with a huge window allowing him to see view outside. Currently he was avoiding Poppy who wanted him to stay in the hospital wing. All his ribs and broken bones were healed or mended; so any evidence of the battle injury he sustained were gone. Harry could easily be considered as healthy as before the battle.

On the outside, anyway.

Mentally Harry still felt an internal raging turmoil of wanting to fight against his pain at using the killing curse. It had been his train of thoughts ever since he killed Voldemort.

A stern voice then spoke from behind him, "Mr. Potter, shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?" The boy-who-lived-again turned around, startled and then grinned sheepishly when he saw whom it was.

Hermione stepped further into the room from the entrance. She said lightly, "Just kidding Harry." Then her tone turned serious as she asked, "Are you all right?" She looked into his eyes and Harry said with a forced cheer, "I'm fine Mione; everything's fine."

Shaking her head, she was silent for a few more moments and moved over to where he stood. Placing her hands on his arms, she spoke, "Please don't lie to me. You don't make a good liar." Pulling him close, she hugged him tightly and whispered, "You did well,"

With those words, Harry could only croak out, "Yeah, I did do well" before he started to sob brokenly into Hermione's shoulder. Hermione could only stroke his back and hold him. Little by little, Harry whispered in broken words his fears and his pain of what had happened. Now for the first time in a very long time, Hermione's thoughts weren't filled with a certain dark and brooding man; not once as she held Harry did she wonder where Severus Snape was.

In another part of the castle, Albus Dumbledore rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was already feeling every bit of his hundred plus years. The last 24 hours had been quite long and tolling; it was only the beginning though.

The entire castle was in varying stages of shock and chaos. Aurors were everywhere, checking up on those alive, asking people about their role in the battle, listing dead and alive Death Eaters and so on and so forth. The Minister was speaking with Albus before having to continue duty; strategy was planned in regards of how to tell the world and what to say to the reporters, also who would say it and they, the world and the reporters, no doubt wanted to talk with the-boy-who-lived-again, too. In the end Albus grew so tired of all the arrangement that he simply left. He now stood in the doorway to the hospital wing peering in.

Extra healers had been called from St Mungos to assist Madam Pomfrey in helping the wounded. The castle's medical potions were rapidly being used to the point that the hall outside the hospital wing was converted into an emergency potions lab with many cauldrons brewing on transfigured tables.

The noise level was even worse.

Albus stepped into the wing and walked towards infirmary's closet. There had been so many patients, that even this small space was turned into an extra ward.

Though, strangely, this ward was only for one single person to use, despite the need of the space.

Inside he found the two people he was looking for. Looking up from a medical journal Poppy greeted the headmaster. Quietly she said, "I've done all I could and now it seems the rest is up to Fate." She looked down at comatose patient. The only occupant of the room lay unconscious, his black hair contrasting strongly with his sickly pale, dry face. What you saw was a very ill man.

A lone tear made its way into Albus's beard, as he said: "Since the day you came to me, I've had you fighting and now for the last time I ever pray for you to win this last fight." His voice cracked as Albus continued heart wrenchingly, "Pleas live, Severus…"

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	15. seeing him hearing her

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, keep 'em comin'.**

**Anyway, thanks to my lovely beta, Linda. Unfortunately Lizzie's sick, and didn't have the energy to beta this chapter.**

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**Chapter 15 – seeing him; hearing her**

Everything in his field of vision was nothing but strange colours and he could only hear the sounds of painful screams. He tried to rub his eyes, but it seemed as if his hands couldn't feel his face. The loss of this sensation made him feel dizzy and he tried to call out, but somehow he couldn't open his mouth. Or perhaps his mouth had opened but he had lost his voice. He tried to look around him, but couldn't see anything, save for the strange glowing symbols - the same you saw when you closed your eyes hard. Severus attempted to move his limbs, but his body felt numb, so it appeared that moving was out of the question as well.

Panic started to spread in him, and without realising it Severus fell back into unconsciousness.

When he came to, not much later, the screams had turned into yelling. People were yelling around him and he didn't know why. He tried to remember the last thing he remembered was seeing. The Dark Lord's fall… and then Lucius had attacked when he, Severus, had been distracted for that single moment.

_Oh no, I've been hexed by Lucius!_ Severus thought to himself. A_m I dead? Surely not, I can hear people!_ He tried to call out, but he felt too numb to move. After a while the yelling stopped, or perhaps he slipped into unconsciousness again.

Something wet fell onto his skin, but he wasn't quite sure of what it was. Severus slowly gained consciousness and he realised that he was still as incapacitated as before. He heard someone talking, and he tried to move, but felt oddly tired and weak. Strange as it might be he did not feel panic rise by this.

A distant voice whispered, "_Please live, Severus" _

The voice reverberated in Severus's mind and he felt his chest tighten, as he recognised the voice of the Headmaster. He tried towill his voice to move when he heard the Headmaster, but had no luck. He struggled against the soothing blanket of darkness as memories suddenly surfaced in his mind's eyes. He remembered the last battle, it had gone on for a very long time and he felt so tired, but now his mind remembered clearly one memory, and he remembered a female's voice hissing hateful words at him and sudden pain.

_How could I live? _He asked himself angrily raging with self-hatred. _I'm a fool, my job is done, and I'm done…_

He stopped struggling and then heard someone whisper, _What are you doing here?_ He could only hear this faintly from his hideout in the darkness.

_Did you get what you deserved? _The voice continued to whisper, and Severus then recognised Hermione's voice. _Hermione! _He tried calling, but she only went on, as if she had not been interrupted: _What's going on?_

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A few minutes earlier…

It seemed as if the world had stopped and she couldn't move a muscle for the moment. Her arms hung limply by her sides, her stance steady and still, until a calm breeze swept through the window and loosened a lock of hair, which slipped in front of her eyes. She pushed it back. Quietly she walked forward, over to the side of the man who lay on the bed.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione whispered shakily. She looked at the lifeless and pale form of Severus Snape.

"Did you get what you deserved?" She continued to whisper, "What's going on?" She moved her hand towards his forehead and when she nearly touched him, she pulled back, feeling as though she had been burned. She started to step back, anger flashing through her eyes as she forced herself to still realise that he was nothing but a bastard.

He deserved whatever he got.

Her eyes fell upon the clipboard by the bed that should state his condition. She pulled it up and frowned when she saw that the paper was blank, devoid of any records of his medical condition.

She placed down the clipboard and thought to herself:_ What ever is wrong with him, he still deserves it! _–

She turned to march out the door, but upon reaching the door she hesitated for one second, before forcing herself to shake out of the stupor, and then she left.

Outside, Hermione was just about to start walking out of the noisy infirmary when a voice suddenly spoke from besides her, "Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped a little in surprise and turned to see the Headmaster. His eyes twinkled softly as he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, my dear,"

She smiled uncertainly as she said, "It's all right, sir."

Dumbledore's eyes continued to twinkle as he asked, "Did you find what you needed in the broom closet?"

Hermione brows knitted in confusion when she suddenly realised with a dawning light, that the knowledge of Snape being alive and still unconscious was not the best thing to tell everyone. The castle was still packed with outsiders. Hermione hesitated and then smiled softly, "No, not really,"

Dumbledore smiled broadly as he said, "I'd like to have a word with you, Miss Granger; so, please follow me." He started to walk with Hermione following, across the large ward opening the door to Madam Pomfrey's office. The noise from the infirmary died down as Albus closed the door after Hermione.

Dumbledore held a finger to his lips in thought. Putting down his hand, he said bluntly, "Miss. Granger, I must ask that you not to talk about what you saw in here to anyone."

Hermione nodded as she replied, "I understand, I can imagine a lot of people that might want to revenge his treachery,"

Dumbledore nodded in agreement as he scratched his beard thoughtfully. Seriously he then said, "There are far too many Death Eaters still at loose for the moment. Hogwarts is far too open and exposed to have that truth out"

Hermione gave a small nod as Dumbledore lit up with a smile, he said cheerfully, "That was that then, now run along. I thank you for your cooperation."

Being dismissed, Hermione moved over to the door and still hesitated as she placed her hand on the doorknob. She had to ask, "What's wrong with him?"

Inside she berated herself for caring, as Dumbledore answered calmly, "Nothing."

Hermione looked at him in bewilderment and felt annoyed as she said, "Headmaster, please tell me. I saw him and he looks as though he's on the verge of death."

For a long moment, Hermione saw something collapse inside the Headmaster as he appeared older and frailer. His eyes lost that twinkle, when he finally said, tiredly, "It would appear as though he's dying,"

Trying to mask her worry, she asked, "He is healed, is he not?"

With a voice that bespoke his one hundred-plus years, Dumbledore answered, "Yes, he indeed is healed, but it appears that his body has given up on life. Miss Granger, Madam Pomfrey and I don't know why this is the case, but he refuses to come out of the lifeless state he is in…"

Dumbledore's voice trailed off, as he turned his back to her. Hermione took this as a final sign for her to leave. Feeling strangely numb, she walked out of the room.

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**Please let me know if the chaptor was satisfactory. Otherwise I might ressolve to torture! MWHAHAHA!**


	16. Change in state of mind

**Chapter 16 - Change in state of mind**

_A/N:_

_KarenDetroit --- you said you thought that the story was just the first chapter, because it was so perfect and self-contained, thanks, but in truth, just like I think I told I second chapter, then the story WAS just ONE chapter, originally, but I got so many reviews, asking me to continue, that I followed their wishes._

_Also, thanks to all of those who have reviewed. Your reviews make me feel better and make me want to write. I apologise for now having updated in a while, but make no mistake, it is NOT because I lack of inspiration. Simply because I lack the time… I will, however, try to get the time for it._

_Thank you for being patient._

_Now, on with the story:_

If it was anymore possible, Albus felt his beard grow whiter than it already was. Since the end of the war, just a week earlier, he felt his hundred plus years. It was a feeling he had never felt before. The headmaster prided himself on being spry and healthy like an old time spring chicken. Yes, he did eat a lot of sweets, but it was only to sate his sweet tooth and indulge his inner child.

At this point though he felt very old and weary, it was a feeling that he kept to himself and worried about at night, wondering if he would even have the strength to get up in the morning. It all made sense though, the war kept him going, and now it was suddenly over, leaving behind chaos, sadness and confusion.

He spent his nights now in his office working or visiting Severus, having long one-sided conversations to the man who became like a son to him, hoping that he would awaken soon. Severus still lay on the bed in his comatose sleep.

But his time with Severus was in vain, for nothing changed the young Professors state, be it worse or better he remained still.

It was on the sixth night after the war ended. Hermione Granger was at the Astronomy Tower, staring outside of the window. Looking at the terrain outside, she felt some comfort at how healthy and vibrant the landscape outside looked, as if it had been reborn after the battle.

Closing her eyes, she slowly inhaled the clean air. Her mind recounted the memories of when she first arrived at Hogwarts, how she became friends with the Boy Who Lived and Ron. She remembered spending many nights with the Marauder's Map and under Harry's clock avoiding Filch and Snape.

Snape…

Snape…

"_Yes, he indeed is healed, but it appears that his body has given up on life. Miss Granger, Madam Pomfrey and I don't know why this is the case, but he refuses to come out of the lifeless state he is in…"_

Hermione sighed as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. It was getting late, she noted, as she left the tower. Try as she might, she couldn't stop thinking about Snape. She could only try and tell herself that he was still an unfair selfish bastard, and when she had finally convinced herself that he meant nothing to her, she found her hand opening the door to the infirmary.

When she realised where she was, she nearly slammed the door close, but didn't. Instead she stood at the door for a couple of long minutes before she slipping into the room. She wondered briefly who she was trying to fool. It seemed that fighting her heart was a lost case.

Looking around her the medical ward was quiet except for a few light snores coming from the last patients still recovering from the battle. She treaded careful steps to the door of the closet and stepped quietly into the room.

She wasn't sure of what she had expected to see, but his sunken cheeks and shallow skin was not it. Feeling an indescribable ache, she couldn't turn away from the sight of him and hesitantly she moved forward while her eyes searched his face, trying to make sure if it was still the same, stupid man who had ripped her heart to pieces.

"How could you ever think that I can fall in love with you, Miss Granger, is beyond me. You're an impossible chit, a mere child, beneath me in every way. This is not even registering the fact that you are in the house and friends with people I despise the most."

The pain of his words flashed through her memory, cutting her like a cold, sharp blade and her legs quivered for a moment as she sunk into a small chair standing by his bedside.

Her eyes welled up in tears that spilled as she grabbed his arm and bore her nails into his skin.

Trying to hold onto her composure with no luck, she whispered painfully, "How-co-could-you!" her breath became ragged as she tried to keep her grief blanked, but it was no use. The mental gates had been opened, and now her grief was moving rapidly outward.

"How- could you!" She whispered harshly, digging her nails into his skin making small grooves there. "You broke- my heart, you bastard!" Breaking down, she let her face sink toward the arm she held. Teardrops fell from her eyes onto his arm as she sobbed hysterically into his arm. After a few intensive minutes, Hermione slowly regained her composure as she hiccupped and a deep calm settled over her as she breathed out. She slowly stood up and continued to stare down onto Severus's forearm.

It was wet from her tears, and slowly she let her fingers connect with his arm, as she skated her fingers across it, before letting out a trembling sigh. She could vaguely feel the indents from her nails. Taking out her wand, she let out another trembling sigh and intoned a healing spell. Making sure that his arm was free of any marks, she placed his arm at his side again. Mindful of the life stabilising spells that hung over him.

Then for the next few minutes she stared at his unmoving form before she leaned over him and kissed him softly on the forehead. Backing away, a trembling sigh escaped her throat as she turned around and left the room as quietly as she entered the room.

The only sign showing her visit was the professor's slightly wet forearm. What was unknown to her was a slight movement of his fingers…

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	17. Rising Sun

**Chapter 17 – Rising Sun**

The rising sun had its rays shine through the long hallways of Hogwarts as birds sang outside and the castle slowly awoke. Its warm rays spread through the infirmary and spilled under a closet's door, which had been turned into a smaller ward and contained a single person. As the rays shone beneath the door the inhabitant finally roused. His eyes slowly fluttered open and after having adjusted wandered around dazedly. Professor Severus Snape was finally awake.

For a long moment, he laid on the bed, trying to move his fingers tentatively. His body felt too exhausted to move, as if he had been sleeping a long time. He tried to wonder through his exhausted mind as to where he was. He didn't recognize his surroundings, but felt the residues of a stabilizing spell.

The spell had ended as he regained consciousness.

A strange feeling and even stranger memory was remembered as he had the feeling of wetness on his skin, there was also the sounds of someone sobbing. He did not linger any longer by the memory, as it made him strangely uncomfortable.

Severus tried to move his fingers and after long exhausted moments, he finally had enough feeling and strength to raise his hands. He wondered if it was really his hands. They were so skinny and pale, their movements foreign.

For another few moments he stared at how his fingers bended on his command, before he slowly moved them to his face. There was his nose: the same bent beak, and his thin lips with his mouth uncomfortably dry with a cotton feeling. Saliva gathered from his throat and he slowly licked his lips, moistening them. It was an alien feeling and he felt like his body was a stranger's body in spite of it being his own nose, mouth, hair and ears.

A sound to his right made him snap out of his exploration and thoughts.

The voice of Poppy Pomfrey was suddenly heard as her face swam into his line of vision.

She was smiling with tears in her eyes as she said, "Severus! You're finally awake." Severus tried to respond to this, and opened his mouth, but barely any sound was heard. Though, as if knowing what he was about to say Madam Pomfrey answered, "Don't be cruel, Severus, you've been out for a little over a week! Everyone has been so worried! Only Albus and Minerva know you were here, of course, but you are a wanted man. No good letting the remaining Death Eaters know that their betrayer lies here unconscious! The castle is already too busy, so that's unacceptable!" She smiled overbearing to him, a smile he found himself loathing.

Severus slowly processed the information, and his mind had one thought, was it only Minerva and Albus who knew where he was? Somehow he couldn't put things together, as if there was a missing piece.

The nurse rapidly performed stabilizing and monitoring spells as she said, "My dear, Albus has been so worried!"

Severus now looked at the nurse fully. She was looking like always, yet her features were paler and faint circles lined under her eyes. Poppy seemed to be aware that he was studying her, and smiled tremulously, "Now sit tight, I'll get Albus now, it's good to see you awake!" The nurse bustle out of the room as Severus let his thoughts fall upon the strange feeling of something being amiss. It did not feel as if it was anything big being amiss, but whatever it was it bothered him and he knew it needed to be striated out. Briefly he wondered it he had forgotten some work just before the battle or something like that. Unfinished business.

The sound of the door opening brought his attention back to the present, signalling the presence of the old wizard and in a few seconds was at the awaken man's side sitting in a conjured chair. Forcing himself to speak and clearing his throat, Severus rasped: "Albus!"

Grasping his hand tightly, Albus looked at Severus with his eyes slightly moist and shining with happiness, "My dear boy! How are you?"

Severus tried to quirk his eyebrow, but his body was still too exhausted, so his cool and snarky reply, "Wonderful, just peachy," did not come out as it had supposed to.

The Headmaster laughed slightly as a tear ran down his cheek and into his beard. Severus could only whisper, "No need to cry,"

"My dear boy, you have no idea how worried and troubled I've been over you," Albus patted Severus's hand, still smiling. Seeing Severus's confusion the Headmaster continued, "You were near death's door, Severus. We knew not why, but you seemed to fade away…" he trailed off with a hitched sigh.

Severus contemplated the words and his mind remembered a reluctance to feel the warmth he was feeling now, a reluctance to face the world. No, a reluctance to face _something._ But then there was warmth, and he remembered how it all had felt like a dream.

Albus watched the emotions playing across the face of his potions master with a curious eye.

He had a small smile, but then the smile faded and was replaced by a confused look on his eyes, ending with an expression of tired and sadness as an unbidden thought came to him.

"Severus?" Albus noticed the change in Severus's mood and spoke his name with concern.

His eyes turned tired and sad, and Albus wondered about what Severus might have remembered. His eyes twinkling, the Headmaster said, "You should sleep Severus. I will inform the Order that you are awake, and I believe Miss Granger would like to know too. She was kind to have visited you a few times."

Albus patted Severus's hand again and stood, oblivious to the look of confusion crossing the Potions Master's face. As Severus stifled a yawn the Headmaster excused himself.

Despite the exhaustion, physically and mentally, Severus felt a memory surface as he had leaned back into the comfort of his pillows. A memory of a whisper, a pleading to have him wake up, presented itself with the memory of a woman, before Severus fell asleep…

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	18. Alive

**If you've gotten two mails about an update then it's because I updated this chapter twice :S Sorry**

**Thanks for reviewing, you make me keep writing!**

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Chapter 18 – Alive

Hermione rolled over and stared up at the canopy until a knock was heard from her entrance.

"Hermione? Are you up?" The sound of Ginny's voice was heard from the other side, and Hermione grunted in a vague reply. She wasn't the type for naps, but lately she had felt so drained that it was hard to function properly.

"Hermione?" Ginny called out again.

Finally, feeling that she had mastered the strength to call out, Hermione called: "I'm up, come in."

The door opened and revealed Ginny with a tray of what appeared to be tea and candy. Hermione sat up in the bed and made room for Ginny and was pleasantly surprised to find the tea refreshing to her inner system.

"So… What ya doing?" Ginny prompted before taking a long sip of her tea.

Hermione, giving the young Weasley a weak smile, shrugged and said, "relaxing," for a few moments the pair enjoyed their tea.

Putting her mug on the tray, Ginny displayed a serious face and asked, "How are you?"

Frowning, Hermione replied politely, "quite fine, thank you." Ginny looked at Hermione for a moment and then nodded, as if accepting the answer.

Having taken another sip, Ginny then said, "are you coming out? Everyone is bathing in the lake. It's really fun!"

Despite not really feeling well Hermione nodded in hopes of not worrying her friends, and went back to her tea. Once finished with the treats and the tea the pair moved outside, joining people by the lake. A few Order members, who were still at Hogwarts to keep an eye on things in case Death Eaters came for revenge, were sitting in the shade of a tree while the younger people were enjoying themselves in the lake.

"Hermione!" Ron's voice called out, and Hermione scanned the water for him. He was waving at her enthusiastically and Hermione responded with a light wave and forced smile. "Have you seen Harry?" Hermione looked around for the familiar black-haired boy, but found him to be nowhere. Feeling slightly worried Hermione said she'd be back in a few minutes, and went to look for Harry. She had a good idea as to where he might be.

Thinking of Harry, Hermione walked past a wall three times before a door appeared. She slipped in and found Harry looking towards her from a huge window. She sent him a vague smile and then moved towards him.

Stepping up to his side, Hermione commented, "Nice view," and then took a seat, by the window-wall, on some cushions Harry had conjured. For a few moments the pair just stared out of the window. Behind the glass the sun shone upon lush grass and trees. Even the forest looked friendlier in the bright rays.

Leaning back Hermione asked, "why are you not out there?" She looked over at Harry, who did not respond. "Harry?" She prodded gently, and he looked over at her, his green eyes reflecting the horrors he had seen. Hermione, looking concerned, grabbed Harry's hand for comfort.

"I suppose it never really ends," Harry whispered before looking away from Hermione. "I- what am I going to do now?" He moved to catch her gaze, and Hermione saw his conflicting face. "Everyone says that we should 'move on', but-"

"You're not sure you can do that," Hermione ended and Harry nodded softly. Hermione nodded in agree. She, too, wasn't sure how she could just move on, though her thoughts were in regards to someone.

After a long period of silence, Hermione spoke up again, her voice hesitating, "I suppose," she said slowly, "that it is not a choice we have. We cannot stop time, so we just have to adjust-" she sighed, "Otherwise we'll lose ourselves…"

"I don't want to be Hero-Harry, or the Boy-who-freaking-lived…-again!" Harry bit out frustrated and Hermione cracked a small smile. "What now? I fulfilled the prophecy!" He rested his chin on his knees, which were pushed against his chest.

"You could say," Hermione whispered in thought, "that the prophecy was the purpose of your life. Now that you're free your fate is in your own hands. No more prophesy to decide what you should do, no more prophecy to force you into something you don't want to do…" She paused and looked into his eyes while squeezing his hand tight.

Having let out a deep breath, Harry said, "you mean I'm simply just as screwed, in regards to life, as everyone else?" Hermione laughed and made Harry smile too.

"Careful there," Hermione teased, "you might even get called normal!" Harry laughed with her and they both fell back onto the cushions.

After a while Harry whispered, "Thanks, Mione."

"No worries, Harry, that's what friends are for," she replied and moved her head to have him in her line of vision. Bright eyes and a smile shone up and her with care and happiness, and Hermione happily returned it. "Want to go down to the others?" Hermione asked, after a little while. Harry nodded and extended his hand to help her up when he had gotten up himself.

Hugging Hermione tight, Harry said, "I don't think I want to be an auror," Hermione looked at him surprised and he explained, "I know it was something I've always wanted to do, but the thought of fighting anymore," he trailed off with a shake of his head.

"You need to tell Ron. He has big plans for you," the pair laughed softly, "but what do you want to do then?" She looked at him more seriously and he shrugged.

"Dunno, but I need to relax," he replied and Hermione nodded in acceptance. The pair left the Room of Requirement and walked down the halls.

Seeing Headmaster Dumbledore taking one of the moving staircases to another floor a bit ahead of them, Harry said, "Can we meet outside? I need to speak with him." Hermione nodded and Harry hurried after Dumbledore. Hermione looked after him until he was out of her vision.

As she moved towards the entrance hall Hermione passed a small staircase she new lead in the directions of the Hospital Wing. Biting her lip she looked down her original path and then back up the staircase. It couldn't hurt, she decided, to see him just once.

Moving past Madam Pomfrey's office in the ward Hermione could see she was busy writing on forms. Deciding not to disturb she moved between the beds and down door leading to _Snape_.

He was lying still, just as she had expected, and Hermione moved towards him with hesitant steps. She bit her lip as she stared at his pale form, anxious about being there.

_I shouldn't have come! I cannot care about him! He doesn't deserve it!_ She thought to herself and turned away from him determinedly. As she reached the door a noise behind her made her turn around. She stared at Snape, had it been him? Feeling slightly paranoid she tried to move to leave again, but froze when an almost unfamiliar voice croaked out in a whisper of plea:

"Don't leave!"

Hermione turned around, shock written plainly on her face, as she stared into Snape's obsidian eyes. His face was sickly pale and his eyes were big and alert. For a few moments they stared into each other's eyes, and then, gasping in desperation Hermione fled

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	19. Coming to a conclusion

_Sorry for not having updated, but I've jsut moved away from home so I've been quite busy. _

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Chapter 19 – coming to a conclusion

A strange calm had settled over him, but just as it came it disappeared and in fierce pain he followed it and whispered hoarsely, "Don't leave!" It wasn't until after he had said it that he realised that it was no longer a dream, and the comfort he had felt had in fact been very real. His eyes tried to adjust to the sudden light, and surprisingly fast did Ms Hermione Granger come into view. The panic from being left was still clear on his faze, frozen to it – more like it -, but inside he felt a raging war of mixed emotions; all were trying to tell him something.

Some were sneering at her, but most of them were oddly… sad? Barely had his conscious come up with the right memories before she fled, leaving Severus even more stunned in her wake.

A strange rush flooded in his veins, making him feel strangely giddy, but at the same time anger, pointed towards himself, raged everywhere else. He wanted to call out for her, but he knew it was too late. It was the third time he had lost her, first time because he thought it a joke, second time she told her mind while they fought and now this. Not to mention that she had even visited him, a gesture he couldn't fathom at all.

Hermione rushed through the halls and back to her room, all plans of spending the day outside forgotten. Her breath was hitching in her throat and her head was spinning, and she fell to her knees before she had barely closed the door.

Leaning against the door she forced herself to take deep breaths. In a corner of her mind she felt as if she had done something akin to this before with Severus, although, that time was quite unpleasant.

Not that this wasn't unpleasant. He was supposed to be dying, staying unconscious and all that. He wasn't supposed to wake up!

Her mind was racing and for a few minutes she was wondering why he had woken up, when she had been told otherwise. After a few moments reality hit her hard and she realised that she shouldn't be caring. He had treated her like dirt! He had been so cruel to her!

Her heart twisted uncomfortably, but she forced herself to think of something else. So what if he was awake? Surely she couldn't wish him dead, could she?… A part of her told that his death would never satisfy her… quite sadistic, really, Hermione mused to herself.

Once her thoughts were gathered on the matter she rose from the floor. So he was awake, it did not change anything between them.

The Headmaster had offered the school as a sort of holiday resort for the Order, but if Snape came up and about she could easily leave. She had good reason, she had only seen her parents once since the war had ended, and she could justify every other question with the fact that she wanted to be prepared for her new apprenticeship as a Healer.

"Okay, Hermione, go outside and have fun. Don't think of pathetic Snape anymore," she smoothed her clothes as if smoothing away all worries and the made to leave. As she opened it she gasped in shock.

The Headmaster smiled at her and said, calmly, "I am sorry, Hermione, for startling you."

Hermione managed, somewhat, to find her voice, and replied, "That's alright, Headmaster. Is there anything I can do?" _He's probably here to inform me about Snape_, she mused, and wasn't pleasantly surprised when he asked to come inside.

Having taken a seat in a couch Albus said, "I actually wanted you to inform you that Severus is awake!" His grin couldn't get any wider, Hermione was sure, and she forced herself to reply it with a grin of her own, despite how false she felt it.

"Yes, I know. I just saw him while you were talking with Harry…" She informed as she moved to the fireplace, "would you like some tea, Headmaster?" Etiquette, something Hermione hated right now. It was only prudent to ask him, but she was really not in the mood to look at him. Actually, the only ones she wanted to see was Harry and Ron – she knew they would cheer her up when it concerned Snape.

"Please, if it is not too much," the Headmaster asked and Hermione ordered some tea, "so, I imagine you to be quite startled," he laughed a bit and Hermione followed suit, though she felt more revolted about the present company every minute.

With a forced smile she replied, "Yes, quite," and without thinking of it her face slid into a distressed expression and she continued, "I ran from there. Suppose I was really shocked. I thought he was… was-" in the split of a moment Hermione realised the reality of Snape's death had been far from her mind, but now that he had woken up she somehow understood how close it had been. The realisation washed over her and left her quite breathless. She had wanted him to die, but she had only meant that because she was angry with him, not because she really wished him dead.

She did not realise that the Headmaster was watching her with mild interest, and after a while he decided that she perhaps needed some time to think. He left her there, sitting in a chair, feeling terribly horrible and shameful of her feelings.

His mind was a mess. His feelings for Hermione were a mess. Once had had regained himself after her flight he had searched his memories for information about their current situation. There was irritation, but that was from the time he thought it all to be fraud. There was anger, but it was pointed towards himself. There was also… interest? A strange feeling of mixed emotions, many of them surprised, but most quite pleasantly agreeable towards her person.

He wasn't sure how he was feeling about her in the moment, but something urged him to make a plan to somehow get on her good side again. What he hoped to achieve from it he did not know, he only knew that his heart was begging for forgiveness, something he usually could not care less about.

As much as he would like to get out of bed and find Hermione there were several things that kept him away. One was the fact that he wasn't strong enough should she put up a fight, verbally and physically, and two: Poppy had told him – ordered him – not to leave bed for another three days, and just fighting with her would send him straight to comatose.

He didn't like to anticipation, but he had to. And while he waited he might as well think of a proper strategy of how to approach the fierce lioness.

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	20. of strategies and worries

**I am really sorry! I feel I've gotten out of touch with how to write a dialogue! I will in the next chapter, however, make sure that there will be more talking and less focus on the individual's inner.**

**But for now...**

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**Chapter 20 - of strategies and worries**

Nothing in life ever goes, as you want it to. It was a lesson Severus had learned the tough way and too early than was proper. It had, unfortunately for him and his surroundings, given him the impression that the world was cold and careless and as such he saw no reason to act out and be sweet towards other people, who would, in the long run, stab him in the back. His father's words sometimes rang in the back of his mind, reminding him that the only one in the world you could trust was you and that love and women made you weak. That might've explained why Severus's father hit his wife and son.

It took Severus's mother's life to realise that equality between the genders existed and that his father had been a sore drunk and abusive husband. A few words from his dying mother and Severus felt he had been slapped with bricks. _Don't loose hope, I never did!_ Her voice called for him. He knew she was stupid for believing in her marriage, but she gave Severus the inspiration to get a grip in his hopes and beliefs and seek what he wanted. He never got further than to Dumbledore, then, in new way, he became Dumbledore's slave and had been ever since. Despair, anger, carelessness, hurt ruling him and suppressing everything that reminded of feelings – again.

Feelings were a risky thing. Was he really interested in letting them out when the chances of getting hurt were so big? He wasn't sure he was willing to take that chance, despite how his mother's words cut through his skin to the very centre of all his emotions.

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It wasn't as if she was in love with the man, Hermione told herself. It was perfectly normal to be put off by the sudden change of events, especially when the events involved a person whom you had had a difficult relationship with. 

"Relationship!" Hermione shook her head in disgust. She had barely left Hogwarts! August was moving in and she had not even started her new apprenticeship yet, and still she had already grown accustomed to the idea that she was a fully adult with lots of experience regarding love. Which was, in fact, entirely untrue. When had she suddenly begun to see herself as no more than a student? It had only been a few days since Harry and Ron had complained about still feeling like students, despite them both being on the good side of the teachers, and, to prove, were allowed to use the given names of their elders.

But still, even Fred and George were complaining sometimes about being treated like a student and feeling it all again, but they could be excused, she supposed. They were up to trouble so much that every time they were reprimanded they felt as if they were children again.

Nevertheless, Hermione did not at all feel like a student anymore. Actually, she hadn't even thought of it! She dared to assume that her thoughts might've been too far away to think of such trivialities, but now that she WAS thinking of it she did feel silly for everything.

Engaging herself with a much older and experienced man! Not to mention her ex-teacher!

When did she become so bold? Or so blind as to where her place was in society? Not in regards as to blood, but in regards of age! Age was something wizards looked upon with great interest. Children had nothing to say in the world of the adults, not even those who might be considered adults in the muggle world.

It was all so very confusing, but she supposed, the point was that she was doing things she perhaps wasn't old enough for.

Of course then the question was what she was doing! Hermione simply just felt she was doing something she shouldn't be doing and naturally assumed that it had something to do with Snape.

She wasn't far away from the truth. Perhaps, if she dared to listen to her heart instead of logic, she could admit that she sought elder company because she did not feel she fitted in with those of her own age. And perhaps that she admired the Potions Master so greatly and had fallen in love with him, but did not know what to do.

If there was one thing Hermione Granger hated then it was not having an answer.

And whom could she possibly ask for it! Heaven's knew she'd looked the library through and through for guides, but none held the right answers! And she couldn't possibly ask anyone for help! They'd get too curious for their own good, and in the end: angry with her.

She knew her friends would never approve of her attraction to Snape, and if she told them they'd eventually find out of the situation between them, leading to them using it against him.

It was impossible to tell her heart to hate him, no matter what she tried, and her heart longed to see him.

The moon cast its light through windows and all the creaks it could find. Statues got long shadows in the hallway, but Hermione felt strangely calm, despite their mysterious appearances. She smiled lightly to herself by the sound of snores coming from the portraits. It was a wonderful feelings walking around at night, somehow everything seemed far more magical.

He was asleep, just as she had hoped. She assumed it would not be for long, but he already now was looking troubled in his sleep.

The candle she was holding was flickering in an almost nonexistent breeze and she held her hand up to keep it from flickering. Snape was lying in his bed; his face was drawn with lines of exhaustion and anxiety. Possibly from a nightmare.

Not knowing what to do Hermione merely settled in the chair nearby, enjoying the strange comfort of being near him. She blushed lightly by the thought of how pathetic people would think of her if they knew. She was pining over a professor and sitting by his bedside. She felt ridiculous. And yet, calm.

She stayed until it was almost six, reluctant to leave, but her bed was calling. Had she known he would be released the very same morning Hermione might've decided to go early to bed and get early up to leave. However, she did not know.

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	21. Good morning

**Woohoo, I am going skiing this weekend... Just wanted to update before I go :P**

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Chapter 21 - good morning **

**_Part I_**

Chapter 21 - good morning 

There was nothing special about this day. Nothing at all. It was simply a regular August day with birds singing, just as they had since the end of the war; since the mist had disappeared. And yet there was something different about it. Although, no one noticed except one man who was just about to be released from the bed he had laid in for quite some time.

Severus Snape was not a man who bothered to care about the singing birds and all the _happiness_ around him, it had been years since he had cared, and yet, this day he took notice and he took it as a sign as proof of a good outcome.

Bustling in, Poppy Pomfrey, the nursed who had tended him since he had been hospitalised, exclaimed, "Severus, goodness me! Perhaps you should stay another day, you look quite ill!"

Horrified at the thought of staying _one_ other night made him almost yell, "NO!" The medi-witch looked at him slightly crossly, and with a muttering "who's the nurse here!" she left Snape to his own dealings, the door to her office slamming behind her as she locked herself in and started doing whatever medi-witched did when they were alone. Probably filling out forms.

Severus shivered slightly as he threw the hospital clothes away. He felt ill because he was worried about seeing Hermione, not because he was unwell.

A soft creaking noise from the door let Severus know he had a visitor and he turned his head towards the Headmaster, who was looking over so joyous. "Severus, I must say it's wonderful to see your face having regained some of its normal colour," the Headmaster offered some chocolate to Severus, who declined with a raised hand.

After an intake of breath, Severus replied, "I can't wait to leave this ward," his voice carried a tone of utmost disgust and Albus let out a soft chuckle as he gestured for Severus to leave with him. The pair moved silently down the small ward with beds on each their side and Severus felt the weight of having been hospitalised fully and did not enjoy it. However, with a firece determination he put on his regular sneer in hope not to be forced into bed again.

Albus and Severus bid Poppy a goodafternoon and then the pair left the Hospital Ward in search for some sunlight.

"I daresay people have been worried about you and will be very pleased to see you," Albus commented as they descented a small staircase.

Severus grunted in an immediate reply and then, after a few seconds continued, "I am surprised you say that. Are you sure they're not sorry I didn't die?" His voice was layered with coldness and he started feeling the usual hatred towards everyone bubling inside him again. He knew he would not be able to stay long in the company of the Order, for he knew what they really thought of him.

With a soft chuckle Albus said, "Please, Severus. People do care about you, you know. No matter what you think..." they fell silent again and Severus felt the urge to snarl at the Headmaster, but was at loss of what to say. For some reason he wanted to get outside, for he had not been outside in fresh air for a long time - or so it felt,- but at the same time he was reluctant to speak with people. He had never held any feelings towards the Order. He was in it because of Dumbledore, not because of the people in it.

Noise assaulted Severus's ears as he and Albus left the castle. The sun was bright and birds were singing joyfully. Not far in the distance you could hear screams of laughter and when Severus looked towards the source he saw people sitting by the lake. As he came closer he saw some were bathing too, and not just the young ones, but Shacklebolt and Lupin, and even Minerva had her feet in the water along with Molly Weasley.

"Severus!" Molly's voice cut through the crow like a dagger and people turned towards him. His immediate reaction was to glow to frighten them away, but when everyone waved eagerly and welcomed him back - some were even moving towards him for a chat, - he was too surprised to do anything. And thus he ended up talking with several of the male Order member while a few of the ladies, Molly mainly, hugged him and assured that they were pleased to see him back and in good health. After the first ten minutes of talking, recieving hugs -which made him feel slightly empty for some reason he did not fathom- Severus was followed down to the bank of the lake where he was seated along with a few others.

"Welcome back, Sir," Ginny Weasley's voice spoke up and Severus inclined his head towards her, not knowing what else he could do. It gave him momentarily the chance to look around, and in the split of a second he realised someone was missing. Hermione Granger. He dared not risk asking for her, so he let his eyes pass, inclinding his head at each to the _children_ in polite greeting and then went back to those talking to him.

The Headmaster tabbed Severus's shoulder and beckoned him to follow, "Severus, "Albus said when they were at a safe distance, "I have a favour to ask of you," Severus's jaw tightned and Albus held up in hand to forestall any comment, "Lucius Malfoy killed Narcissa just hours before the final stage of the war broke out..."

Frowning, Severus said, "Lucius killed Narcissa?"

Sighing heavily Albus continued, "the day before Narcissa had met with me concerning Draco's safety. She was aware the war was coming to an conclusion and she wanted Draco out of the way, otherwise Lucius would force Draco to fight for Voldemort and if Draco refused he would kill him. You know she never wanted her son to get invovled, and Draco had developed his own sense of right and wrong and chose _our_ side a year ago..." Severus nodded and beckoned Albus to continue, "When Lucius couldn't find Draco he realised what had happened, and killed Narcissa for her treachery and now Draco is alone, for Lucius is in Azkaban. He's been living at the Malfoy Manor since the war ended. I appointed some houseelves to look after him," Albus motioned for Severus to walk with him towards the castle.

"What seems to be the problem then?" Severus asked, feeling slightly concerned in regards to his young godson.

"The problem is that the Ministry has given him two weeks before he has to move out. The Ministry wants to go through the house with aurors and then take the entire house into costody because it is owned by a Death Eater..."

Shocked, Severus exclaimed, "but they can't. Draco lives there!"

"I am aware. The problem, however, is that Draco doesn't own the Malfoy Manor, or the minor Malfoy estates. He will not own them until his father signs either paperwork or dies. The Minitry will not execute Lucius because he has too much information regarding Voldemort and his followers, which could later be explored..."

Shaking his head Severus said, "that's ridiculous. They're just gonna force Draco to move out?"

"Apparently yes. And that's not the worst part," Albus rubbed his face momentarily, "they've even frozen all Malfoy bank accounts. Draco will have no money or no place to live from this Wednesday." Albus looked at Severus, who had stopped his tracks.

"_This_ Wednesday?" Severus asked and Albus nodded in confirmation. "But there must be something you can do?"

"There is, somewhat," Continuing their walk inside the castle again and in the direction of Albus's office, he continued, "I've talked with the Wizengamot and tried to appeal the case. They will not move one inch in regards to the estates, but I do believe I can get them to at least open Draco's personal account," Severus nodded in understanding as they moved onto the rotating staircase, "however, the wizengamot have talked about not being sure regarding Draco's loyalties. He could easily turn into his father-"

"That's preposterous!" Severus cut him off angrily and Albus nodded and gestured for Severus to sit down in one of the two chairs across Albus's table, while Albus took a seat behind the table.

While conjuring some coffee he said, "yes," and then - after having taken a long sip he said, "but Draco never went public and told which side he was on-"

"And how could he? Had he done so his father would've killed him," Severus interjected and Albus nodded. "But Draco told you already last year that he wanted nothing to do with Voldemort, can't you say that?"

"They think me too soft and they need proof. I can easily follow them in that, but it does not lessen our problems with Draco's security. On Wednesday Draco will be forced to leave the Malfoy Manor, a place where he is secure from enemies, but once away he will be out in the open. That is why I want to move him here - to Hogwarts. The Wizengamot wants him to have a guardian to check up on him, and I do not think he will be comfortable having me as a one, but I think you would do nicely - that is, if you do not mind," Albus looked at Seversus over his half-moon spectacles and Severus leaned back in his chair.

"Of course," he replied easily and Albus nodded in consent, "but do you think the Wizengamot will let _me_ become his guardian?" Severus raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Albus responded by leaning back in his chair and smiling self-satisfied and then he said, "I am sure they will have nothing against it," he twinkled at Severus and then continued, "ahh yes, you never knew since you've been in a coma," he chuckled and moved his wand around in circles. A small box appeared along with what seemed to be a newspaper aticle. Albus handed it to Severus and Severus skimmed the article, _Order goes to Order members. _

Order of the Phoenix--- blah blah...

Order of Merlin, 1st class...

Severus skimmed the letter, but stopped when he saw his name on the list of those having recieved an Order of Merlin, 1st class. He stared at the article and then up at Dumbledore, who was smiling blissfully at Severus. Moving the article Severus stared at the small box in which lay a gold medal with the inscription _Order of Merlin, 1st class. Severus Snape - for services to the wizarding community._

"Reading further you will see that the article mentions a party," Albus interupted Severus's shock and Severus looked up at him, "it is to be hold next weekend at the Ministry. You have an invitation it's in your room. I imagine you have to wear the medal on your clothes," he winked at Severus, who was sitting shocked in his chair, unable to speak. When Severus did not speak Albus laughed and moved to stand, "my dear boy, I believe we better get you going. You can stare at the medal later, but now I am sure Draco would want to hear news from you. He has asked for you, you know," Severus slowly stood, eyeing the medel with only dim comprehension and then tried to force himself together.

He cleared his voice uncertainly and said, "yes... well... very well, I shall go see him," and then he went to see Draco.

**End of part I**

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	22. near the bottom

For some reason there's been some troubled for people uploading this chapter. I hope you will all accept my apology for making you so confused...

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Chapter 22 – near the bottom

**Part II**

His head hung limply from the neck, facing the floor. His face was hid behind the blond locks of hair, but when he heard footsteps he looked up and met the eyes of his cold professor. For a few moments silent reigned between the two Slytherins, and then, with a tired composure, the young Malfoy said:

"I've been expecting you."

In response Professor Snape said, "Indeed," as he moved further into the large Malfoy library. His steps echoed softly as he moved, "then, might I ask, why haven't you packed?" His voice was soft, unlike what it used to be. He looked at his young protégé with calm eyes and a relaxed demeanour, perhaps hoping to converge some of his strengths to the last Malfoy alive.

Risking the chance, Draco replied, "Severus…" he stopped, hesitatingly, "I do not believe it to be a good idea to go to Hogwarts…" He met his professor's eyes.

"When did you care about the 'golden trio'? Last time I checked you would've been delighted to be able to vex them merely by being near," for a moment Draco smiled, but his smile quickly faded into something akin to lost.

"Things have changed… Perhaps had it been on better term it might've been more interesting." Silence fell between the two.

"I will protect you, Draco. We will find a way for everything," a feeling of hope arose in Draco's stomach, and he bit his lip to hold back the pleasure of feeling safe.

Draco glanced over his shoulder and took one last look at his home before entering the fireplace. He had all the things he needed with him, the Ministry was locking up the rest, and he would not be able to come back for a long time. With a 'swoosh' he disappeared in green flames, not sure if going to Hogwarts would make his life any easier.

Severus too glanced around, memorising how it looked like. Forbidden memories of parties here in the mansion popped up in his mind, and he shivered lightly, remembering a particularly uncomfortable episode, which took place in this hall he was standing in at the moment. He stepped into the fireplace, called his destination and then let the powder do the rest. The familiar tug and rush washed over him and he closed his eyes, focussing on something more relaxing than spinning through masses of colours.

He stepped out of the Headmaster's fireplace and noted Ron Weasley standing threateningly in front of Draco and, surprisingly, Harry Potter by the window, not participating in the unfolding events. The Headmaster was standing, ready to interfere, should Weasley cross the line. But it was not the Headmaster who called Weasley to calm down, and Severus almost gasped aloud when the familiar voice rang in his head.

"Ron, pull yourself together. You heard the Headmaster. Malfoy's been on our side for over a year. He keep up the act of despising us," her hand grasped Ron's arm and pulled him to sit down in the chair behind in. She glanced at Draco, her eyes not betraying when she really thought, though it was clear she was not happy with him by the tone she had used.

Forcing himself together Severus stepped forward.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley, I suggest you calm down. Or should I mention the punishment of lying one hair on Draco's head?" He tone was hard while he focussed on looking into Ron Weasley's eyes. The boy replied with a cold shrug and looked over at Harry, who had yet to enter the conversation. For a brief moment Severus let his eyes wander to Hermione, and he felt his stomach clench as their eyes met. She held his gaze bravely for a moment, and then, with a sweep of her head, she turned her head, her brown hair swaying by the action.

"If that was all, Sir, I really need to go. I have to go home," Hermione voiced in a clipped tone before turning around to grab her luggage.

Severus swallowed, surprised by this change of events, and in response asked, "why are you going?" His tone was quick, but soft, making people look at him perhaps slightly surprised. Covering up for his slip-up, he said, "there are still Death Eaters out there, you will not be safe at your parents' house," he met her gaze and in defiance she replied:

"There are worse monsters than Death Eaters. Isn't that right?" Her eyes bore into his and he unconsciously took a step back, feeling strangely open and vulnerable. Her worse cut through his mind like a lethal poison and he forced himself to step away from the fireplace. His mind scanned all available comments, but there was no reply to what she had just said, and the only thing he could do was to take the blow.

"Well, I do hope you'll be back again soon, Hermione. After all, as Severus pointed out," he threw Severus a strange look, "there are still Death Eaters loose, all quite eager to get a hold on any from the Order," Dumbledore ended while fixing her with a calm gaze.

"Perhaps, Sir," Hermione said and then moved over to the fireplace, trying to avoid how close she was to Snape. "See you, Harry, Ron," she said once she had sent her luggage off. She sent them a light wave and then entered the fireplace and disappeared in the green flames. Severus felt an odd pain, as if her leaving was the end of discussion. End of them.

"Now, Draco I am sure you have a lot to unpack. There is a room ready for your disposal," he snapped his fingers and a houseelf arrived promptly. "Tickle, please show Mr. Malfoy to his room," the houseelf bowed and snapped its fingers until all of Draco's luggage hovered. Then it moved towards the door, letting Draco follow right behind. "And Harry, Ron," The Headmaster looked over his spectacles, "I need not tell you to stay out of fights with Draco?" There was a pause where Harry shook his head and Ron seemed more unwilling to reply, though he eventually did anyway.

As Severus made to follow the two boys out of the office Albus said, "Severus, I'd like a word, please." Severus hung back as Harry and Ron left, closing the door behind them.

"Albus?" Severus crossed his arms and leaned against the windowsill.

"I am curious to what happening between you and Hermione just before. I got the distinct impression that you were converging messages to each other?" Severus raised his eyebrow to simulate confusion, "Of course it is not my place," he continued, "but has anything bad happened between the two of you? – Something worse than normal," he added with a glint to his eyes.

"Need to know everything, don't you," Severus replied chastely and continued, "I am no longer her teacher and she is now free to show her hate towards me openly," he grunted and then pushed away from the windowsill.

"My dear Severus, I am sure she doesn't hate you," Albus mended unsuccessfully.

"Who knows what goes on in their heads? It will not be the first time a student has shown true colours once out of school," and with that he swept out of the office, throwing off as much carelessness and coldness as possible, though inside he felt an unavoidable pain, taunting him for his mistake.

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	23. the new Snape

**So, here's the next chapter, enjoy!****

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Chapter 23 – the new Snape

Hermione sighed as she fell onto her bed. She hadn't expected him to object to her going, and she still felt a tinkling feeling in her stomach at the thought.

But why had he done it? He had made it quite clear that he despised her, and yet, he told her it was unsafe to leave.

With a sigh she said to herself, "don't be silly, Mione, it _is_ dangerous to leave Hogwarts, had he not pointed it out someone else would." It was not an encouraging thought, but it would, at least, help her remember the bastard he was and force him out of her constant reveries.

After some time of staring blankly into the ceiling a voice from below called for her, and Hermione rose from the bed, her entire body mentally tired, and moved to greet her mother.

"Hello honey!" Her mother greeted her warmly and hugged her.

Smiling vaguely Hermione replied, "Hello mum, missed you," she kissed her mother's cheek and then looked past her in time to see her father enter the house.

"Hermione!" He greeted, and then, looking worriedly, said, "you're pale, anything wrong?" Richard, Hermione's father, moved over to his daughter to inspect her.

"Just hungry," Hermione lied and immediately Hermione's mother set to work with some food.

Meanwhile Severus Snape was staring into his glass with firewhiskey. It was glistening from the firelight and sending a vague light into the room. His mind, of course, was occupied by no other than Hermione Granger. He knew that he could not get her out of his mind, no matter how much he tried, and that thought nearly made him break the glass with his hands. He had tried, the Heavens knew how much, but no book or potion could get his mind off of the woman.

He had even looked for _Potter_ in hope the royal pain could divert his thoughts. It only worked for a few minutes and then she was back in his mind, taunting him.

It was a sad situation Severus had landed himself in, and, usually he despised pitying himself, but this time he was all biscuits and tea.

It was about that time that he got an idea. A brilliant idea. An idea that made sure no one could ever say he had done it out of selfish and perverted needs. All he needed was to be the perfect gentleman!

And thus Hermione was awoken the following morning by a knocking on her door, calling for her urgently. Hermione, who was far away in dreamland, awoke, feeling rather disorientated.

Hermione, wake up and get downstairs! 

Hermione squinted her eyes and looked towards her window. Considering it was summer the sun had barely thrown its rays upon England, and Hermione came to wonder just how early it was.

Turning her head lightly she stared at the clock on her desk, after which she blinked a few times. 03:04 AM. She stared at the clock for a moment until her fathers voice called for he.

What was going on? 

And in a flash Hermione was out of her bed, want in hand and her heart pumping maddeningly in her chest. Were there Death Eaters in the house?

Horrified and worried about her parents Hermione stormed out of her room, her wand ready to hex anything that moved.

"Good grace, Hermione!" Her mother's voice sounded surprised at seeing her daughter with such bushy hair and a wand ready in her hand, storming down the stairs. Hermione, who realized that there were no troubles, but instead Professor Dumbledore visiting, stared at the elderly wizard, confused.

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "dear Hermione, had there been any Death Eaters I am sure they'd have noticed your movements by long," he grinned at her and then added, "you have to be silent if you want to surprise people," he glinted at her and Hermione smiled in return.

"What's going on?" Now alert Hermione lowered her wand and band her hair with a bond in order not to look like a troll.

Dumbledore took a seat which Richard had offered him, "well, we're not far away from the subject of Death Eaters, I am sad to admit," he rearranged himself in his seat before continuing, "As you well know there are still Death Eaters at loose," he looked at Hermione's parents to see if they understood; they nodded. "This house is protected, but I am afraid it is not protected enough. There are ways to break the protection…"

"Why weren't they protected like wizards then?" Hermione asked with a frown and Dumbledore smiled.

"Firstly, your parents are muggles and lead muggle lives. That means that if they should be protected 100 they would not be able to leave their home. Unlike wizards your parents are connected to the muggle system, which means that should they not appear for a while someone would wonder and there would arise too many questions. People might come looking for their house, and used we the Fidelius Charm… well, I am sure you can imagine people being a bit confused, they'd call for the police and such…" Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Also, your parents are dentist, am I wrong?"

"We have our own clinic," Hermione's mother said with a proud smile.

"Indeed, and you would have to give that up in order to hide fully," this did not please her parents, who glanced at each other with horrified looks.

"But I can hardly imagine Death Eaters coming here…" Hermione said, looking at Dumbledore, frowning a bit.

"I assure you I can," he said with a sad glint to his eye. "You were very important in the war, they'll want revenge. Revenge on Harry, especially," he paused momentarily, "I have heard rumours of Death Eaters wandering the streets of muggle London; I do not wish to take the chance. It is best if we relocate you parents, Hermione, and let them work from there."

"But where will you take them?"

"Professor Snape has been so kind to lend me his family's summerhouse," by Hermione's incredulous look he chuckled, "do not fret, it is, as we speak, being stripped from all harmful curses. The only thing left will be security charms to allow only people with no intend to harm to enter. We're even trying to set up a telephone!" Hermione was not impressed though, and neither did her parents seem to be. The fact that he had mentioned harmful curses did not bode well for her parents' trust in him.

"I've heard of this _Professor Snape_ before," Richard Granger commented and Albus looked at Richard with an expression of utmost peace. Richard went unaffected by it. "Hermione told me he was a bad teacher. Always punished unfairly," Richard continued, "I do not like to live in a house such man owns. Especially not when you've mentioned curses on his house. Is he a madman?"

"Richard!" Hermione's mother scolded and her husband fell silent, "I apologies, Mr. Dumbledore, but this man is not someone we've heard much good about. Leaving our home to some stranger's, whom we've heard is dangerous, is not making us feel well," she sent Dumbledore a soft smile in hope he'd understand.

"Severus is a good man, I assure you. His family's summerhouse is safer than anything else. You'll be safe there. You'll be able to get around from there, to your clinic," again Hermione's parents shared a look. "I assure you, Mr. and Mrs. Granger, it is a safe place. Hermione can attest to Severus being a good and honourable man," there was a horrible silence where Hermione's parents, and Dumbledore, all turned to Hermione for confirmation. Hermione tensed and stared mortified into the palms of her hands.

Her stomach was clenched, but she forced herself to look up at her parents and say, "he's on our side," no more could she say before she had to look down into her hands again. She hated Snape, he was a bastard, but she knew he did not wish to bring Death to people who did not deserve it.

"Splendid!" Dumbledore gathered his hands as if concluding this early morning intrusion. "I think it be best were you to pack right away…"

"How much? Just clothes-" Hermione's mother asked, suddenly sounding confused.

"Everything," Dumbledore chuckled as he stood. I will let you pack, see you in half an hour," and with that he parted in a whoosh of green flames.

"Everything!" Hermione's mother echoed and glanced around, "in half an hour!" She suddenly panicked. "We don't have any boxes!"

"Mother," Hermione shushed got her wand out, "go get dressed and I shall pack," she summoned some trunks, which she charmed to have extra large space (a charm she had found in the restricted section and illegal to use because of cheating).

Soon enough the house was packed and Dumbledore arrived to show them to their new place. She shouldn't have been surprised of seeing Snape there, since it was his house, but still she could not help it. What, perhaps, surprised her the most was his entire demeanour. This was not the Snape she knew. This Snape looked and acted like the perfect gentleman.

Hermione watched, shocked, as a, somewhat, smiling _Snape_ shook her father's hand and kissed her mother's, bidding them both welcome.

"My house is your house now, please, feel free to do whatever pleases you," was the last thing she heard before she had to sit down.

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**I hope you liked the chapter. Please review, it makes me so happy **


	24. silence before the storm

**Chapter 24 – silence before the storm**

_A/N: I am really sorry, but I can't remember what Hermione's mother's name is, or if I've even given her a name yet… I can't find it in my story, so I presume I have yet to dub her_…

_PLEASE READ:_

_Also, I haven't been using a beta for a little while now, but are now back to using it since a reader suggested it :) Anyway, there were some problems with this chapter and I am not sure if it managed to get betas. I am sure you can forgive me for whatever spelling mistakes there might be. Thanks :-)_

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Her first idea that came through her mind was to scream and then, perhaps, be productive and start the exorcism.

An arm came around her and held her steady and her father's voice sounded, "you'll have to forgive me, Professor, it's night and my daughter was awoken rather…" her father's voice faltered and Professor Snape said,

"I understand perfectly, Mr. Granger. Allow me to escort you to your new rooms. In the morrow I shall show you around. For now I am sure you all need sleep," Hermione barely registered that people glanced at her. She hardly took notice of anything at all in fact. Her world was shaken. Darwin had just told the world that we originally sprung from the apes. Copernicus had just told the earth was not the centre of the galaxy.

It wasn't until she was safely in her new rooms that things began to dawn on her. She was in Snape's house. _Snape's house!_ What was she doing there? She asked herself. Why was Snape acting all gentleman? More than once did she open her door to go see if it had been a dream or not. Snape looked and acted gentleman.

But what did it mean? Why was he suddenly so nice? Was this who he really was? Did that mean that he acted cruelly towards people he did not like?

Little did Hermione know that the mystery of the whole situation would unravel that very same morning.

"Ohh Merlin!" Hermione moaned groggily as she blinked a couple of times. The events of last time came crushing down on her, but she kept her internal balance and got out of bed. She stretched and took a good look around the room. It was dark. Was it still night? With her wand she pulled the curtains away and was bathed in summer sun. She let out a squeak in displeasure and moved towards her trunk where she found some clothes.

Ten minutes later and with her hair up in a ball, too uncontrollable to tame, Hermione ventured out of her room in hopes of finding her parents.

A loud _pop _and a squeaky voice saying "Miss is awake," startled Hermione and she gasped as she saw a small, old houseelf.

"He has a houseelf?" Hermione blurted out angrily without thinking, and the houseelf gave a little jolt of the outburst. "I am sorry," Hermione smiled apologetically to the houseelf, who nodded hesitatingly, "I wasn't aware Snape had a houseelf," Hermione commented, still sorry for surprising the elf.

With huge eyes the elf said, "Oh yes! Master Snape has had me forever! My family has always belonged to the Snape family. It is a great honour to serve such great wizards!" To Hermione the elf seemed to shake a little as it said 'great wizards', but she decided not to ask why. She had a good idea what it must be like to be member of the Snape faculty. After all, she had been one of his students and was treated like Malfoy Sr. treated Dobby.

Sod.

"Can you show me to-"

"Misses parents are eating breakfast with Master Snape! Tinky will show you to them!" And then the elf moved along the corridor on its little legs. Hermione stared after it, not sure if she was ready to see Snape so early in the morning. However, after a heavy internal battle she decided to follow the houseelf. She was sure Gentleman Snape had been a dream – or a nightmare –

He was not.

He was sitting at the end of a large dining table, drinking coffee and talking to her mother and father and gave her little attention as she entered the room.

"Hermione, sweetheart, you're looking more fresh this morning," Hermione's father laughed and Hermione let out a small smile before talking a seat by her mother.

"Severus was just telling us about this place. It's amazing, Hermione!" Hermione's mother, Caroline, informed with a bright smile. Hermione returned the smile and then focussed on her breakfast, blocking everything out.

"Perhaps you can show her, Mrs. Granger," Snape's voice cut through her thoughts and Hermione lifted her head. Her eyes met Snape and she was surprised to see the calculating look he was giving her. She frowned at him and he glanced towards her mother, who was laughing softly, telling that it sounded as a good idea and that Hermione looked like she could need some air.

Thus Hermione's mother dragged Hermione outside to take a walk around the grounds while Snape and Hermione's father discussed whatever a wizard and a muggle tended to discuss. With a light giggle Hermione wondered if Snape was just as fascinated by electricity as Mr. Weasley was and whether or not she should give him a socket.

The sun was shining brilliantly over the grounds and Hermione actually enjoyed the walk with her mother. It had been a long time since she had been with her mother out on walks and even a longer time since they had really talked.

So it was with an interested tone Caroline asked, "how are Harry and Ron?"

"Fine," Hermione replied and then continued, "Harry's a bit… tired, I suppose, but he's holding up quite well… I am proud of him," she smiled softly to her mother.

"He did something quite remarkable," Caroline agreed and said, "and Ron? What about him?"

"He's doing good," a silence fell between them.

Caroline suddenly laughed and said, "Really, Hermione, Severus is a great man! I can hardly believe the things you told me about him," Hermione stopped in surprise and Caroline turned to her daughter questioningly.

"But he is. He's a stupid-"

"Hermione!" Caroline hushed and Hermione fell silent. "But you were his student-"

"No, mum, Snape is a bastard towards everyone," Hermione informed, pressing extra on bastard. "He's unfair and cruel and-"

"Your teacher. It's quite normal. You are a child and children can be-"

"What?" Hermione broke off, angrily. "I am suddenly a child? That gives him the right to be nasty?" Little else was said between the pair as they continued their journey through the garden. It was as they reached the wild strawberries that Hermione realised what was going on. This was an act. There was no way in hell Snape was nice, Hermione was sure.

The question now was: why was he acting nice? What was he trying to gain by playing nice? Being dragged into a scheme of Snape's was not something Hermione was looking forward to and thus broke off the walk and hurried towards the house. She had a thing or two to tell Snape.

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	25. Reading between the lines

**Chapter 25 – Reading between the lines**

_A/N: I feel really frustrated! I feel as if I write boring things. I lack inspiration! I am really trying, sooo sorry…_

_Also, I no longer have a beta so if anyone wants to dedicate their time to beta for me I'd be soooo happy!_

_As I no longer have a beta I am sure there are a few, if not many, spelling mistakes. Please bear with me. Sorry!_

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He liked her. She knew it. She had felt it and seen it in his eyes. Why he was acting so confusedly she did not know, but she had a few ideas. But could it really be he had let them use his house in a way of showing affection? So what if there were Death Eaters around, there were numerous other places her parents could stay. Why here? And he had offered it himself! Deciding to get him to talk she found her father and asked for Snape. He politely told her where to find Snape and she proceeded tracking him down.

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**"What the hell is your problem?" Snape looked up, surprised by Hermione's outburst, and, momentarily, looked angrily at her.

Forcing himself to remember that she was not just anyone he calmed down and said, "What are you talking about, miss Granger?" in a polite tone that made Hermione stop. Briefly a feeling of confusion ran through her, but vanished quickly as it came.

"You know what I mean," she said, calmly, forcing herself to level with his calm. His eye did not betray his emotions and she tried hard to mask her own fury.

"As well as you know I am a practiced legilimens, in that sense I am, indeed, able to read other people's thoughts, though I try to stay out of people's thoughts due to the individual's respective privacy-" that, of course, was a direct lie –"which means," he stated with the barest tone of superiority, "I have not read your mind and as such I do not know what you are hinting," this silenced her for a brief moment, just as he had anticipated, but only for mere seconds.

Hands on hips Hermione said, "Why can't you just be honest?"

In return he arched an eyebrow, "I am quite honest, what else do you want?" The words crossed her mind and she reflected on the last time he had spoken them, but only briefly.

She opened her mouth, but waited for a few seconds to answer, "I _want_-" she fell silent and Snape stared at her with a look she could not fully comprehend. "Respect of my individual," she then answered as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Respect is to be earned," he continued, both trying to read between the lines of each other's words.

"Have I been a bad girl?" She answered slightly mockingly and felt a light shade of red colour her cheeks by the implication. "Have I dishonoured you, _sir_?" She continued in order not to linger on the latter.

"Not per se, but your… behaviour hasn't been-"

"My behaviour!" She cut him off, angrily. "My behaviour hasn't been good enough?" She looked at him coldly. "You're the one to talk! You just… just run off! A coward!" She made to turn around and storm off like she had came, but something caught her arm and forced her back and she gave a shocked gasp in reply as she faced Snape _up close_. She was too stunned to realise their proximity and focused on his cold gaze, which bore into hers.

"Let me assure you, _Miss Granger,_ I am not coward," he whispered, his breath sending shivers down her body. "I've done quite a few things in my life I am not proud of, but I've tried to make up for them," she was no longer sure of what they were talking of and had to guess her way out of his grasp. "If anyone's the coward it is you," he whispered dangerously.

Her eyes took in his entire face before meeting his eyes again. "I've done some pretty stupid things, too," she then said and felt, for the briefest of moments, his grasp tighten before it loosened once more. "I just ran away… perhaps you're right. I am a coward. But then again, it can easily be explained," the need to hurt him as much as he was hurting her flooded into her veins, and without knowing what the consequences would be she wrestled herself loose from his grip and with the most truthful voice she could muster she said, "I am, after all, just an_ impossible chit, a mere child_…"

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**Hey, please review.**


	26. Regrets

**Chapter 26 – regrets**

_I'd like to thank my new beta reitashnehelena for being my new beta._

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"Let me assure you, _Ms Granger,_ I am not coward," he whispered, his breath sending shivers down her spine. "I've done quite a few things in my life I am not proud of, but I've tried to make up for them, _all of them_." She was no longer sure of what they were talking about and had to guess her way out of his grasp. "If anyone's the coward it's you," he hissed dangerously. 

Her eyes took in his entire face before meeting his eyes again. "I've done some pretty stupid things, too," she said and then felt, for the briefest of moments, his grasp tighten before it loosened once more. "I just run away… perhaps you're right. I am a coward. But then again, it can easily be explained," the need to hurt him as much as he was hurting her flooded into her veins, and without knowing what the consequences would be she wrestled herself loose from his grip and with the most truthful voice she could muster she said, "I am, after all, just an_ impossible chit, a mere child_…"

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It was as if a cold breeze swept through the room, cloaking them both in an unmovable state. Then, slowly as the words sunk in on them both, Snape stepped back, abandoning her grip on her. He turned his head towards the window and stared out of it, as if the prior conversation had never happened. Then, with a slow movement, he removed a few strands of hair out of his face and turned to face Hermione once more. 

Shocked at what she had actually said, Hermione tried to open her mouth to explain, but her despair and anger were too stubborn to let go of what _he_ had done to her. She raised her chin in silent defiance, her mouth slightly open in surprise, though, as if countering her cold behaviour.

Long moments went by, neither speaking, and then, in a dry and slow voice, Severus Snape almost whispered, "yes… you are…" Unable to come up with a better response for the situation he moved further away, shielding himself from emotions and then continued, "I believe, Miss Granger, your manners, as lacking as they are, are a sign that, perhaps, you should leave."

Hermione stood there, staring at him, barely comprehending what was being said, and then, with a slightly shaking voice, she said, "I'll go back to Hogwarts…" And with that she disappeared out of the office.

The first thing that sprung to her mind was to get away from him, and the only solution would be to go back to Hogwarts. Though, as she reached her rooms she realised how silly it was, for her parents were still in the house and she couldn't well ask _him_ to leave, since it was, after all, his house. Hence why, slightly nervously, she located him again.

"No, Ms Granger, I offered my house and I stand by it. I have, in any case, business to attend other places, you're free to _leave_." He was short and precise before he swept off, reading his mail as he went, as if nothing had disturbed him.

It was not even five before Hermione had said her goodbyes and then left for Hogwarts. Walking up the great lawn towards the castle was surrealistic. One was that she had never done it in the summer and another was the fact that people would question her return. Not that it wasn't easy to lie, but she felt slightly uncomfortable about it all.

"Mione, you're back!" Her friends hugged her tightly as they welcomed her back before they moved towards the Great Hall for dinner.

Ron, grinningly, asked, "So, why did you come back so early? Couldn't stand Snape?" He laughed and Hermione gave a small, insecure giggle in return.

"Of course not, she missed the library," Harry informed with a grin while eyeing Hermione secretly. He gestured for her to take a seat and then she greeted all who were at dinner. Ginny sent Hermione a curious glance, several times, which Hermione stubbornly avoided while pretending to focus on her food.

"_Hey, Draco," _Ron's voice rang in Hermione's head and it took her a few moments to comprehend what was going on. When she did she looked out sharply, and for the second time this evening, she spoke up without thinking.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Her voice was cold, surprising herself and many others and Draco Malfoy steeled himself with the usual superior façade.

Draco, who was about to speak up, was overrun by Ron, who said, "Come on, Herm, he's on our side, did you not know?" Hermione laughed hollowly, feeling angered by it all, mostly by the incidents from earlier and the last thing she needed was to look at a Slytherin idiot. Not knowing what to say she excused herself and stood, leaving a surprised party behind.

"I'll go to her," Ginny made to stand, but Harry called her back.

"No, let me," he seemed resigned, but at the same time he seemed as if he knew what was going on. He threw a strange looked towards Draco Malfoy, who frowned in return. They weren't exactly best friends, but they had been pushed together in the castle ever since he, Draco, had come to live there and they had, in a way, learned to tolerate each other. Ron seemed to be more open minded towards Draco and Harry wasn't exactly sure why. Draco had never been quite nice, but between them all it had been Ron who had welcomed Draco first and tried to befriend the young Slytherin.

Hermione wasn't that difficult to locate and he found her on her way to the library, probably to force everything out of her mind with the books. He grasped her upper arm and she surprised him when she wheeled around looking angry, though tears were running down her cheeks. He forced her body easily towards his in a bone-crushing embrace.

He hushed her quietly, stroking her tangled hair all the while musing what was going on. He knew she had changed, they all had changed, but she was the only one he no longer could keep track of.

Hiccups of sobbing reverberated in the quiet hall and, to avoid unwanted company he slowly beckoned her to follow him to the Room of Requirement.

The room was covered in pillows had several tissue boxes stacked in a corner, which Harry quickly seized some for Hermione's use.

Tentatively, as if not wanting to scare her into silence, he whispered, "What's wrong?"

Still sobbing, though trying to force herself to calm down, Hermione cried, "Why's Ron so friendly with the ferret boy?" She cried harder pushed herself into Harry's chest, "What's he doing here? Such an idiot! Idiotic Slytherin!" Harry padded her back and then said,

"Tell me the truth, 'Mione," Hermione looked up at him with her puffy eyes.

"What do you mean?" She whispered, not even able to cover up her worry that he might know something.

"Let me help you the way you helped me," he insisted. "Tell me what is going on. Why are you crying? I know this with Malfoy is a surprise, but it isn't enough to make you cry." She knew it would come and a moment later Harry let it drop. "What happened while you were away? What happened between you and Snape?" His voice was calm and steady, not implying anything, but keeping a friendly distance that was based entirely on the foundation of their relationship: mutual trust.

Not able to bear what had happened Hermione told Harry everything from the kiss, which shocked him somewhat, to what Snape had done, to the war and then to the incident earlier that evening. She was relieved to see that he did not freak out as she had anticipated, but it, in a worrying way, freaked her out that he did not react as she had supposed he would.

Slowly, however, he said, "I see," and then, frowning in concentration he made the most logical decision, despite, she knew, he did not like it, "I'm with you, no matter what you choose, and despite what has happened then it's your life. I'll back you up, always…" he leaned in a kissed her brow and she rested against his shoulders.

"You don't know what that means to me…" she revealed, "I was afraid you and Ron would freak out…"

A strange hollow laugh erupted from Harry.

"I've changed," he stated calmly, not sounding very happy nor did he sound very sad. She sighed and held him tighter.

"We'll get through it all…" she whispered, "through heart breaks and scars from wars," he squeezed her lightly and then they both rested in a mutual agreement to tackle everything tomorrow.

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	27. turn of events

**Thanks to my beta Nehelena****

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Chapter 27 – turn of events

"Hello Hermione. The words were simple and she was used to hearing them. And yet it was the strangest sentence she had ever heard in her life. Perhaps it was because of the person it was coming from. Perhaps she was surprised, or perhaps she was simply uninterested in his games, but she did not reply, nor did she spare him more than a second's glance before turning away, back to Ginny, whom she had been talking to before Ron, _Malfoy_ and Harry came along.

She knew that he could no longer call her _Granger_, it sounded too cold, but she resented him calling her by her given name. He had smudged her last name and now he was smudging her given name.

Ron and Harry merely shrugged and gave Malfoy an encouraging smile and then they all walked outside where the sun was shining brightly.

"Let's go into the water," Ron yelled, running down the grass while shrugging his clothes off on the way. Malfoy, hesitantly, followed and so did Ginny, leaving Hermione and Harry to walk behind.

"I remember what it was like to be friendless," Harry said as he shielded his eyes from the sun. Hermione looked over at him. "I know what it was like to try and fit in," he continued. "I mean," he stopped and Hermione followed. Harry looked at her, "I know what it's like to lose things for what you believe in…" he looked into her eyes and she nodded vaguely. "My parents believed in free people, so they fought Voldemort and lost. Lost their lives and lost me. Or I lost them. Both ways, I s'pose," he muttered at the end, "but the thing is," he said with renewed strength, "I've stood my ground. I know what I believe in and I've fought for it. I've lost a lot to get where I am and it's been hard!"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but Harry continued before she could utter a word.

"Draco… Malfoy… Lost his mum because he didn't want to be tied up. He wanted to be free. He paid the price with his mother's life. His friends and his family have left him. He's lost everything for what he believes in." He sighed. "That's why I can accept him. He didn't just say he was on our side, but he fought and lost a lot to _be _and _stay _on our side…" He continued his walk towards the lake and Hermione lingered for only a second, thinking of a proper response.

"So you say I should forgive him? Like _you_ and Ron? Forgive him for making me cry so many times? For hurting your reputation, you and your family? And Ron? Don't get me started with him," she warned, frustrated.

"I haven't forgiven him like Ron has. Draco knows that," Harry informed. "I told him that just because he's on our side then it doesn't mean that I like him. But he's tried to be nice and I've accepted his attempts. Ron… Ron's different. You know Ron. He threw a fit and was angry for a day and then it passed when Draco complimented him and made an effort to be his friend."

Hermione snorted.

"Ron's not like us… he…" Harry let the sentence slide. "I think Snape made an effort to make Draco socialise. "A cruel thought slid into her mind, but she pushed it away quickly.

"Probably," she shrugged, and took a seat by the bank, glancing out at the three in the water.

She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt so unwilling to give Malfoy a chance. Partly it was because of what he had done to her and her friends and partly because he was so close to Snape. She wasn't sure how that fitted in, but she knew she was too uncomfortable being near him.

Days had passed and they were usually spent bathing in the lake and, as for Hermione, lying by it, staring at the others or reading remove word a book.

She lay down on her back, staring up into the sky. Rays from the sun shot through it, illuminating everything with a beautiful golden glow. The others had just gone inside and she had stayed behind. The grass was tickling her neck and she enjoyed the smell of freshness. For a few moments she enjoyed being completely relaxed. No Draco Malfoy to befriend her or to make her feel uneasy. No Ginny with enquiring eyes. No Ron with childish questions and accusations and no Harry to understand everything she was feeling.

She played out a scene in her mind of how things could've gone had both she and Snape acted differently, but it was hard to imagine a relationship with him when he wasn't interested. Plus, he wasn't the easiest to imagine happy days with when most of the times with him had been bad.

But something Malfoy had said the very same day slithered into her mind.

"_Severus is awfully annoyed lately. All he _does_ is moan and whine about everything, you'd think he was unhappy about something."_ She could hardly imagine Snape like that, but he was Malfoy's Godfather and both made it a priority to see each other. But Malfoy had made it possible for Hermione to let her mind wander and she secretly pretended that Snape liked her and he'd soon enough come and sweep her off her feet with apologises.

She didn't know how right she was.

All thoughts were abandoned when she yawned of a tiredness she hadn't realised she felt. Her entire body was tinkling with sleepiness and she forced herself to stand up in order to go to her room. Her head was spinning with dizziness and the last thing she saw was a bright light coming towards her and then everything became blank.

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**Please review**


	28. Lost

**Thanks to my Beta, Nehelena****

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Chapter 28 - lost

He'd been awoken that night by a nightmare. No one else in his dorm woke up, for Harry had been smart enough to put a silencing charm around his bed. He had resolved to do that quite often as he usually never slept lightly.

The fireplace in the Gryffindor Common room had made him relax. Its fire was burning steadily and protectively, despite the fact that it was summer.

"Oi, mate, coming?" Someone shook him lightly and Harry looked up at Ron from the chair he had fallen asleep in.

Muttering a reply, Harry said he'd wait for Hermione. But after 15 minutes He'd become quite curious to why she was taking things so slowly. And when he started calling for her, the only reply he got was Ginny coming down instead of Hermione.

"Harry, what's up with the yelling?" She looked at him curiously.

Harry glanced up towards Hermione's room and asked, "Where's Hermione?"

Ginny shrugged, "Not up there," she nudged towards the room and started walking towards the portrait hole. "You know she's an early person, she always gets up before everyone else. She's probably at breakfast," Ginny reasoned - Harry nodded, but in the back of his mind he wondered why she then hadn't awoken him or stayed by his side in the night. It had not been the first time Harry dozed off in the common room; he had done it many times through his school days and Hermione, usually being the first up, was always waking him before the others and making sure that he knew she was there when he needed it.

It was silly, for she might've just reckoned that Harry needed a break and had decided not to wake him, but in the pit of his stomach he was upset, and he walked a bit faster to get to the Great Hall where others were.

A muttered greeting went around the table when Harry and Ginny arrived, and openly seeing that Hermione wasn't there Harry asked, "Where's Hermione?" People glanced futively towards her seat and then shrugged.

Grinningly Ron said, "She's probably in the library."

Feeling worried, Harry shook his head and replied, "Yeah, probably. "He smiled faintly and then started to butter some bread. Not long after Harry could not keep the trepidation and decided to go see her. Halfway to the library he started running and was quite glad that Madam Pince was away on holiday so she couldn't berate him for being noisy.

"Hermione?" He yelled, half walking and half running through the isled of the library. But it was quiet. He wasn't sure why, but he was beginning to panic. It was a slow feeling beginning his stomach and moving forward to his chest. He was horrified that something might've happened. Running back to his room he grabbed his broom and jumped out the window only to steady himself in the air and then fly to the Hermione's window. With a faint unlocking spell he unlocked her window and entered. The room was neat since it was only two girls living there. Ginny's stuff were messy on her bed, but Hermione's were packed neatly and her bed was cleaned as if she had never slept there.

"I can't find Hermione," Harry stated when he had entered the Great Hall again. He looked expectantly at the Headmaster, but Ginny beat him to it.

"Harry, Hermione's might be busy doing… _other_ things," she referred silently to the subject of Snape, but Harry was sure she wasn't still moaning about it.

"It doesn't make sense," Harry stated worriedly, "Headmaster, I checked the library and she wasn't there. Her bed and things are as neat as if she's never slept there!"

"House elves," Draco said and Harry waved it off.

"It would be strange only to clean up Hermione's bed when Ginny's bed's a mess!" Harry continued and Ginny made a choked sound.

"Harry, dear, do stop worrying. I'm sure Hermione's fine," Molly Weasley informed and asked him to sit down for some breakfast. But Harry hurried to leave the hall and went up to his room again where he slipped into his bag and in the bottom he found what he was looking for. The Marauder's Map.

With fidgeting fingers Harry unfolded the map and with a hoarse voice whispered the password and tapped it with his wand. He watched as Hogwarts castle and ground unfolded itself on the map and scanning it carefully he found no trace of Hermione. The only one who wasn't at breakfast, of humans, was he. Sinking deeply and feeling light-headed Harry moved towards the Great Hall again, folding the map neatly and hiding it in his pocket.

"Don't worry Harry, no one needs to be saved now," Fred, or George, said and Harry smiled weakly. Out of his eye he noticed someone sharing a look with someone else and Harry's grasp around the fork tightened. It made him angry to think that he had a hero complex. He didn't. But how could he deny acting when someone was in danger or something was about to happen? Should he just stand and watch? Not able to keep it in him he whispered quietly.

"Is that what you think?" Silence fell over the table.

"Harry, no-" Ron laughed but Harry looked at him to silence him.

"Harry it was just a joke," the Weasley twin said with a faint smile.

"Is it?" Harry questioned a bit louder. "Snape's been kind enough to point it out often enough," he looked at the others.

"Harry, there's nothing wrong with Hermione- or anyone," Mr. Weasley said and Harry stood from his stool.

"But you all think I have some kind of hero complex? That I just rush off to rescue everyone?"

After no one spoke it was finally the Headmaster who broke the silence, "Harry, please sit down."

"No, I won't," he refused. "I can't believe you!"

"No, see here Harry…" Mr. Weasley began, his voice rising slightly.

"No, you all got some problem with me. The only reason I act is because something _makes _me act!" He took a deep breath, "my first year! Should I have ignored Quirrel? If I did Voldemort would've gotten the stone. But _that's_ a part of my hero complex – that I tried to save the stone," he laughed sardonically. "And second and third? I should've ignored the signs and the things because it would make me save someone and thus adding to my _hero complex_?" He looked around them. "What would you've done? Would you have stood by? Do you want me to stand by and just watch, not act, because if I do act I was have it hanging above my head as a hero complex?" He stared at them, ending by Dumbledore.

"I checked the _Map_ and she's _nowhere _to be found!" He stared at Dumbledore whose eyebrows knitted in wonder.

"What map?" Draco asked and there was a slight gasp from the Weasley twins. The meaning of what this could be finally made the Headmaster stand, looking somewhat grave.

"Harry, please follow me to my office." Ron and Lupin had stood too, knowing quite well about the map. The three followed Dumbledore to his office. "Let me see the map," he asked and Harry handed over the map. Dumbledore studied it for a few minutes and then let it drop to his desk. "Fawkes," he called and the beautiful phoenix made a sound indicating he was listening. "I want you to look for Ms Granger outside. If you do not find her on the ground check the road to Hogsmeade, near the station and Hogsmeade itself." The bird disappeared and Dumbledore moved over to the fireplace. Throwing some powder into the fireplace Dumbledore called for Severus Snape.

"Severus," Dumbledore greeted when his face appeared.

"Headmaster," Harry watched as Snape inclined his head and for a brief moment he wondered how Hermione could've fallen for him.

"Are you… errr… home?"

"Of course," Snape replied and Harry frowned thinking it to be odd when Hermione had told that Snape had said he would leave for another place.

"Are you alone?" Again Snape nodded, saying that the Grangers were at work. "Is Hermione there?" Silence fell over Snape and Harry watched curiously as Snape's face changed to a slight sneer.

"No, she went to Hogwarts," looking closely Harry noted that his former professor's jaw was tightly set and Harry was slightly confused as to how to interpret that action. "Is anything the matter?" Snape's voice continued and Harry fell back on the conversation. A second later Fawkes appeared, singing sadly in a way of saying that he could not find her.

"It appears, my good friend, that Ms. Granger is gone!"

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**Well, you prob. had figured it out. Anyway, review.**

**Plans:**

I am trying to involve Draco a bit more. I was more fighting between Hermione and him. Accepting what he did is not something I want Hermione to do easily. I just don't know how to do it. Give me some ideas, if you want :)


	29. moving into action

Chapter 29 – moving into action 

The darkness made it impossible for her to see, and so with tender movements Hermione let her hands slide over all surfaces, in hopes of naming the object around her, and getting an idea of her situation . Soon enough though, she realised that she was in a small cell with nothing but herself. She tried to listen for movements or voices, but the only thing she could hear, was her own breath and her pounding headache.

Severus sat motionless, staring into the flames of the fireplace. The conversation with the Headmaster had ended, but he had been unable to come to Hogwarts. Instead he sat and stared into the fireplace. Feelings were ablaze inside of him and he was fighting to understand and discern them from each other. In the midst of them all, however, were the all-powering feeling of utter panic and horror, a feeling that made his chest tight.

When he finally stood he moved with precision and intent. A quick note reassured that he was sorry to leave the Grangers, but business at Hogwarts required his attention; he dared not tell what business it was, due to the fact that they would not be able to do anything except worry. A bag packed later he was in front of the fireplace again. Feelings of worry and anger were clear in him. Worry for her and anger towards those who had dared kidnap her.

Harry was staring out the window from the Headmaster's office. His mind dwelled upon Hermione's whereabouts and why she, of all people, had been kidnapped. The people around Harry had always been targets, but they had been so indirectly. The Death Eaters would go for him and any people they shot down on the way were simply a bonus. They'd never actually planned anything with others and so it made it seem strange that they would now. But at the same time Harry knew they were desperate. Voldemort had specifically asked for Harry and so Harry had been the primarily target.

Now they would take what they could to tick him off, he assumed worriedly. It would put Ron and a lot of others in danger.

"Do not fear, my boy," Dumbledore's voice sounded behind him, and although it sounded reassuring, Harry had long since leant how to distinguish when the Headmaster was telling the truth. Harry did not reply for moments later the fire turned green and the Potions Master stepped out.

Ron looked over at Harry, but he was silent and did not notice. He bit his nails in frustration. What could Snape do to make it better? Where was Hermione? Feelings he had not felt for a long time rushed through his body and a desire for Hermione and her welfare reigned. For a few moments he paced and then he fell silent when the Potions Master stepped out of the fireplace.

There was a general confusion between all those at Hogwarts. No one exactly knew what was going on, except that _something_ was going on and it had to do with Hermione. The only ones who knew were the Headmaster, Harry, Ron, Lupin and Severus Snape. However, Molly Weasley did not like to be in the dark and it took her no time to get Dumbledore to inform her about the situation and come up with some planning.

The primary questions were who had taken her. The few Order members who also were Aurors checked Azkaban to make sure there hadn't been a breakout of any kind. As soon as it was established that no one had escaped the Order narrowed down a list of possible people to have taken her and possible reasons.

Meanwhile Hermione had gotten a visitor. The sound of movement down a staircase was heard and Hermione looked up, only seeing a narrow line of light coming from apparently the door ajar above the staircase. Battling with herself about whether or not to ask who wasthere she ended up deciding she'd keep quiet.

A light flickered into her cell and she closed her eyes, not used to the light. After a moment she covered her eyes from the light and looked towards the figure, but he or she was standing in total darkness. She felt herself being scrutinised and she pulled away on instinct. The _other one _said nothing, but continued to watch her until Hermione could not take it anymore.

"What do you want?" What she had hoped to be an unwavering and cool voice turned out to be small and scared. The _other one _did not answer, but after another minute or so scorned at her and left her, throwing an apple over his or her shoulder and into her cell. The light remained, for which she was grateful, and slowly she picked up the apple. She did not trust whoever had abducted her to play nicely, so she left the apple fall to the corner of her cell.

A human being can withstand a month or so without food, but hunger will eventually catch up andthat will be the main reason as to why people eat despite not trusting the food. Hunger. She could feel it now. She hadn't had food since yesterday. Or was it today? She was not sure how long she'd been held captive. She just knew that she had been under a spell to leave the grounds. Her captivators had been smart enough to know that entering the grounds would alert Dumbledore.

Momentarily she wondered if anyone knew she was gone. They probably just assumed that she was reading some book somewhere, too busy to eat. The thought made her throat dry up and she swallowed hard, trying not to loose her mind and nerves.

Harry stared out the window. Ron was pacing somewhere behind him, throwing up ideas, which were all utterly ridiculous and pointless while talking about how much he cared about her. It pained Harry to see his friend so distressed, and it was while looking at Ron he got the idea. If Ron, who cared so much about Hermione, more than as a friend, was so distressed, then other people, in same situations may be distressed too.

It did not make much sense, but Harry knew that he needed to know what Snape felt and at the same time he knew Snape could help find Hermione far better than Ron ever could. Snape had been there, Snape knew where to look.

Excusing himself and burying the strange feeling of being traitorous towards Ron, Harry left the room and found the map from his pocket. He quickly spotted his target, who appeared to be in the dungeons.

Harry cleared his throat to let Snape know of his presence.

"What?" Snape snarled and Harry stared at the Potions Master.

Stepping into the classroom Harry braced himself and said, "I want you to help me find Hermione," the look of shock and incredibility was evident on Snape's face, but he soon replaced it with a superior sneer whilst he crossed his arms.

"I did wonder when you'd take up the hero-act again," Harry sighed mentally, forcing himself to move on.

With distaste Harry said, "You know where to look, the Death Eaters and people in general are afraid of me."

"Indeed, but going after her ourselves would be unwise. "A moment of hesitation crossed Snape's face before he continued, "besides, the Headmaster has pointed out that I am in no condition to look up people who might know something, I am, after all, a traitor to _their_ cause and that makes them less eager to help me."

Leaning his head to the side Harry stared at the Professor and in a calm voice he said, "We'll make them help."

To say Snape was shocked was an understatement. Hearing from the boy wonder that he was willing to beat the crap out of people if they did not cooperate was not something Snape had thought was possible, but here he was, Harry Potter, saying that he was willing to do just that.

Considering the situation Snape said, "you know?" He looked at Harry, who nodded and then shrugged, as if not caring about the finer details. Snape had assumed Hermione would have told someone about Snape and Hermione's brief sort-of-relationship. Ginny had shown herself to be one early and after having noticed Harry looking towards him often Severus assumed he was one also.

He looked at Harry, contemplating the situation, and then he grasped his cloak.


	30. Inner Strength, or lack thereof

**Thanks to my lovely beta, Aphiwan, I've managed to update once again. Enjoy**

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Chapter 30 – Inner Strength, or lack thereof**

"Please, what do you want from me?" She desperately pleaded, watching the dark figure observe her once again. He didn't answer and Hermione let out a long sigh of tiredness and confusion.

"Eat," the man said coolly and made to leave again. Hermione frowned at him and looked at the bowl of, what resembled to, soup he'd left on the floor just outside her cell.

Perhaps it was her imagination, but Hermione was sure she heard him mumble, "Bloody magicians" as he turned his back to her and made her to leave. Frowning in confusion she looked up at him, wondering why a wizard would use the word "magician" about the wizarding kind. She had long since been taught that a magician pulled a rabbit up a hat and wizards played with wands. A very important difference.

As she sat back in her cell she mulled over the strange man's habits. He rarely showed himself to her or spoke, and when he spoke the sentences were short and clipped, careful not to reveal anything. And now this; what he said had confused her, but moreover had it made her realise that there was something decidedly odd about her capture. First and foremost she had not even been introduced to the "leader", which would've been normal considering she was friend of Harry. Surely he'd mock her and the likes, Voldemort did so. Why didn't this one?

_Sure is playing this safely_, she mused, feeling somewhat agitated over it. She realised that by meeting the leader he'd probably mock her and even crucio her, like Voldemort would've done, and, not that she was interested in being tortured or mocked, she was still curious as to what the leader was up to, and it would give Hermione the sense of whom her captivators were.

However, Hermione had yet to be crucio'd and mocked by a madman of a leader. She still had a chance to escaping, although she doubted she'd ever do anything without her wand. Generally she had yet to be able to do anything at all.

Thinking things through Hermione realised she need the bathroom, and so she called out, "Hello! Hello!" She waited, "I need to go to the bathroom!" She continued to wait in the silence, but nothing happened. "Hello!" She almost screamed. By the time she was about to call out again the door swung open above the staircase and an unfamiliar voice, not the same who had treated her since she arrived, called out:

"What do you want, mudblood?" his voice was muffled by, from what she could see, was a handkerchief.

"I need to use the lavatory," she answered and added, "please," in hopes of favour. A brief silence followed after which the man closed the door and left her to herself again. She sighed and let her head fall against the cold wall. She did need to use the lavatory, but she also found it to be a good chance to look around. Needless to say Hermione had never been a good person to spy around. She had only realised the opportunity when she felt the urge press on her.

But it opened her mind to a few other things. She was a witch, told to be one of the greatest minds ever to attend Hogwarts. Surely it could be put into use somehow. What good could a clever mind be if only for homework and being favoured by the teachers? Surely she must've read something about… something. What did they do in the first war against Voldemort? She tried to remember back to the things she'd read, but was disturbed upon remembering that it was all about Imperio and Crucio. Were there no heroes who had tales to tell? Had she read nothing? Harry's story was of little use right now, since he'd been a baby and when he had handled things and afterwards it had just been rushing blindly into things.

Could she do the same? Could she leave her mind for a minute or two and rush into things? Did she dare take the risk?

_No, you can't risk anything before you've cleared everything up with Severus,_ her mind told her stubbornly, and she agreed, if not slightly distressed and worried about _that_ aspect of the future.

Speaking of Severus Snape.

He was a spy; surely he'd crept along the walls a thousand times. Hid in the shadows and listened for information. So… all she had to do was break out, creep along the walls and take one down at the time, slowly and carefully… and soundlessly.

_I can do that_, her mind mused steadily. _But how do I get out?_ The door opened again and someone stepped into the dungeon.

"You need to go to the bathroom?" He asked and she recognised the voice as the one who had brought her food.

Hermione nodded, a tad too vigorously, "Yes, yes please," the man moved towards her cell and fingered a key from his pocket. _Special designed keys to make sure not even magic can open the cell,_ Hermione mused, watching with interest. It was a knowledgeable leader, apparently, that much she could tell.

"Don't try anything funny," he warned and Hermione shook her head in agreement, promising to behave.

The house was old and dusty. She tried to take in everything she saw, making up a scenario in her head of her grand breakout as they went. A door where light shone under caught her interest. It was clear that it had to be where the leader were… She desperately wondered who it was. For a few brief moment she had considered Lucius Malfoy, but since she had not heard of a breakout from Azkaban she assumed he was still in there. Of course there were numerous other Death Eaters, but as far as she knew none of them were of leader types, had power of influence or greater magical abilities. Those had that had been members of the Inner Circle were all locked up in Azkaban. Those who had not died, anyway.

She almost shrieked when she saw the bathroom. It was, to say it mildly, nauseating. Steeling her resolve she stepped inside.

"Could you give me some privacy?" She looked at her guard, who stepped a few feet away from the door, as if to make sure he would not hear anything.

_Ok, now I just have to get a piece of glass from the mirror and then stab him and run…_ Hermione fell to the dirty floor and sobbed. _I can't! It won't work! I don't dare! _She forced herself to stand, thinking that she should pull herself together and get away. It was either them or her.

A noise brought her attention back to the other side of the bathroom door, someone was muttering something. _Oh no! Another guard! They've come to take me! To Crucio me!_ She mused in her paranoid state of mind. She found some paper towels _I'll never surrender!_ Put it against the mirror to silence the noise as she knocked her hand against it to break it. She breathed out and then hit it as hard as she could.

1

2

3…

_Ooooowww!_ She gasped in pain and looked at her hand, it was bound to leave a mark and she had not even broken it! A few more attempts proved as futile as the first. Using her elbow next proved to be a better idea, and although it hurt like hell, a piece broke off of the mirror, which she could use.

… _This is it. I am going to kill a man with a mirror. If I don't he'll hurt me. Do it, Hermione!_ She steeled herself again, and with a fierce battle cry and eyes closed she sprung out of the bathroom, ready to strike.

"HERMIONE, NO!"

She opened her eyes slowly, staring at the arm holding her arm. She had failed. Perhaps it had been her battle cry that had alarmed him.

She gasped as her eyes connected with her victim. Bottomless dark eyes stared back at her.

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**MEow?**


	31. The End

**Chapter 31 – the end **

… _This is it. I'm going to kill a man with a mirror. If I don't he'll hurt me. Do it, Hermione!_ She steeled herself again, and with a fierce battle cry and eyes closed she sprung out of the bathroom, ready to strike.

"HERMIONE, NO!"

She opened her eyes slowly, staring at the arm holding her arm. She had failed. Perhaps it had been her battle cry that had alarmed him.

She gasped as her eyes connected with her victim. Bottomless dark eyes stared back at her.

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"Se-Severus!" Hermione gasped and stumbled back, the glass falling from her grasp and onto the floor. She looked over to his side where Harry was standing, looking surprised and yet still quite calm.**

Worried, Harry asked, "Hermione, are you all right?" Harry moved towards her just as her legs gave away. "Don't worry, you're safe now," he whispered. A moment later a pair of strong arms lifted her from the ground and Hermione turned to look at Snape.

Perhaps it was the shock that inspired her, but Hermine said, quietly, "You have very dark brown eyes," Realising for, perhaps the first time, that the black bottomless eyes were actually a deep brown colour which seemingly no end. For a moment her heart skipped as a tender moment passed between them.

"And you're babbling like a 1st year," Snape suddenly said and put on a stern face. "Mr. Potter, the living room?" Snape looked at Harry, who nodded and took the lead, leading them to the room Hermione recognised at the room with the light shining beneath the door.

It was not a magnificent room, far from it. It was simple and unpersonal. Snape put her down on the couch and when Hermione tried to catch his eyes he looked away.

Harry asked, once everyone had settled down, "Did they hurt you?"

Hermione shook her head and said, "no, not at all. I just lived in a dungeon… I got meals, but I didn't eat," it suddenly reminded her of how hungry she were and her stomach grumbled noisily in return.

"I'll go check the kitchen for food," Harry stood up, but Snape beat him to it.

"I'll do it," Snape said quickly and disappeared through the door in search for the kitchen.

Harry hung his head and said, "Sorry"

"Why?" Hermione asked, curiously, and Harry looked up at her. For a moment it seemed like he was going to say something, but then he changed his mind.

"I'll be right back, make yourself comfortable. We took out the Death Eaters," at Hermione's protest he said, "don't worry, we'll talk in a minute"

Harry entered the kitchen and found Snape looked through the kitchen cabinets. For a few moments he watched the professor look around till Snape finally said,

"Shouldn't you be with Miss Granger?" He threw Harry a quick glance before starting to cook with wand.

"Miss Granger," Harry said, not questioningly, merely stating. Snape did not reply, "I just want you to know that…" Snape turned towards Harry as if his glare would silence Harry. In normal circumstances it would, but Harry would not back away, "I though we had come to an agreement earlier," he said and sighed loudly, "figure out what you want. She is not a toy. Find out before we go back to Hogwarts and let her know, if you don't I will harm you," Harry met Snape's gaze levelly and Snape nodded, apparently knowing that he had to act properly.

Once returning to Hermione the mood was slightly suppressed.

"Were you really planning on killing the muggle?" Harry suddenly broke the silence and Hermione looked up at him

"What else would you have me do, Harry? I though it was either them or me…" For a moment she paused and then she said, "What do you mean by muggle?"

"Mr. Preston is a muggle who was caught by Crabbe and forced to observe you," Snape informed before sipping his tea.

"Crabbe? Is Crabbe here?" Hermione frowned and Harry nodded and let out a small laugh.

"Crabbe and Goyle caught you and wanted to set up a trap…" Harry smiled at Hermione's shocked expression.

"It would probably have worked had they been more competent. As it were there were only 4 wizards in the 'group' and one muggle, 2 were Crabbe and Goyle and 2 were from the Outer Circle of the Dark Lords group," Hermione gasped in rage.

"I was in the bathroom, trying to be sneaky," Hermione explained, shocked that she had been lured by too of the most famous people of incompetence. "And the special key to my cell?" Harry and Snape knitted their brows in confusion.

"There was nothing special about the cell, Hermione," Snape informed and then Harry grinned as Hermione sunk further into her seat.

"You were abducted by lower rank Death Eaters, led by Crabbe and Goyle," Harry told her softly, although mirth was dancing in his eyes.

By the time they had gotten back from Hogwarts everyone were ready to move out to find Hermione. They were, of course, slightly shocked and angered that Harry and Snape had taken things into their own hands, but complained no further. After Mrs. Weasley had let go of Hermione she excused herself, needing to get away from the overprotective matriarch and found her familiar route to the Hogwarts Library.

For a little while she walked among the shelves, enjoying the familiar smell of tomes. A noise behind her made her whirl around, wand in hands.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said, blushing somewhat and hid her wand again. Snape took a step closer to her slowly, letting her retreat. For a few moments the pair just looked at each other.

"I am very sorry," Snape then said and Hermione's eyes widened somewhat. He broke their eye contact and began walking along the shelves slowly. "I have behaved badly towards you," he turned to looked at her, she seemed well composed considering. "Things started out very… strangely," Hermione let out a quiet snort, but loud enough for Snape to catch and to reply with a soft smile. "Yes," he whispered quietly to himself, "you're very young," Hermione opened her mouth to protest, "but at the same time I'm not offering marriage and I suppose I could be as good as anyone you choose in this world to create your experience," Hermione nodded slowly.

"So I suppose, in the end, the question is: are you still interested? I can't promise anything, but knowing your foresight I imagine you're already are aware that I might not be your future husband and that I would be a bad choice. Were you looking for that?" The last bit ended with somewhat questioningly, as if unsure of her motives.

"I never kissed you because I thought you'd make a good husband. I think many see me as the type of girl who marries her first boyfriend, including myself, but you 'destroyed' that idea about me. I don't see myself as a future Mrs. Snape, I just find you intelligent and different, someone I am attracted to," she paused and looked at him; Snape nodded and silence descended upon them.

Uncertain Snape asked, "Will you accompany to nice restaurant tomorrow… perhaps?" Hermione smiled lightly while two pink spots appeared on her cheeks.

"I'd like that," she agreed, looked down at her feet slightly embarrassed.

2 years later they married.

* * *

I hope you liked it... Sorry I haven't given any indication for an end before... Anyway, hoped you enjoyed it 


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